MeOW
by crazyblondieandherlollipops
Summary: This is all Neville Longbottom's fault. As soon as I get my hands back, and I will, I'll get you for this Longbottom! And your little frog too.
1. Chapter 1

Me-OW

_Disclaimer: Thank you so much to all my reviewers for their help! I've received 2 Luna, 1 Pansy, 1 Cho Chang, and 1 Lavender. I'm going to do one with Luna and Draco after this one. I just like writing stories about Draco, he's so hot. (My version of him anyways.)_

_Just as a heads up, everything that is faintly true about any of these characters are my researches from wiki, I've only read and seen the first H.P movie/book and that was because my sixth grade teacher made our class do a novel study of it. I didn't like her so I hated H.P, now I just like the fanfiction. :) Wow, long disclaimer._

_Special thanks goes to My. NaMe. Is. BiNg. AnD. i'M. iNsAnE._

Chapter 1

**Lavender's POV**

Divination is the bomb! It is the bomb- diggity! It's the yellow poka- dotted chickidee-dee-dee-dee-dee. It's the hey what the hey are you doin' in the hay come on out and play! Divination is the time to focus and see the future's future! It's the time to watch Hermione Granger sink her way into a bottomless pit of misery while sipping the sweet tea that was meant to reveal to you your future spouse or something along those lines. I just keep seeing the reflection of my big nose. Hermione doesn't agree with Professor Trelawney's logic concerning the mysteries of the world's future. It was quite funny back in the day when we're all playing and you're laying in the hay to watch her fume at Professor Trelawney while she looks into tea leaves or her shiny crystal ball that's more of less hard glass rather than crystal.

But who am I to complain?

That know-it-all and one of those hard glass balls saved my life during the war! Trust me, since that day, Hermione is my new best friend, right beside Parvati of course, who is now studying her reflection in her tea. She's trying to decide whether to pluck her eyebrows or not. It's not like they're bushy so I'm not sure why she's contemplating plucking them. Just go with the flow and see where you'll go. I love to rhyme, it makes me smile. Though it makes everyone else frown. Wouldn't it be cool if we had to rhyme all the time? Bam, I did it again. I am truly amazing like that.

No, Voldyport didn't hex me into insaneness, I got there all by myself thank you very much. The war is over now, thank Merlin. Helping the Light side win is very sleep depriving, especially when you're forced to cooperate with Slytherins who switched sides near the end of the war because they realized we were kicking their bums and thought what the hey? Let's go to the winning side and we'll all be big heroes and be able to stay out of Askaban and whatnot. These consisted of Draco Malfoy's little group of minions, Pansy Parkinson, Millicent Bulstrode, Blaise Zabini, only one goon Vincent Goyle, and of course their leader Draco Malfoy.

Anywho, Parvati and I got stuck with them on a stake out and ended up playing wizard snap into the whee hours of the morning with a bottle of fire whiskey split amongst ourselves. Well.. lets just say that in the end, I never knew Pansy had yellow knickers with daisies. Everything said during that night has never been brought up again, too much blackmail on the line to tell anyone else. Drat it all.

Believe it or not, the best way to worm the truth out of people is through lies! Lies, lies, and more lies! Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head with poofy hair! They'll crack under the peer pressure and embarrassment and suddenly, the truth is out in the open for everyone!

Hermione hasn't seemed to realize that Parvati and I could make excellent interrogators in the Aura business. Not that I want to go there after school! Hell no! I'm hoping to apprentice with Trelawney and attempt in a few courses of psychiatry. People are more willing to open up to others they don't trust. Cause if that person spills the beans, who's going to believe them? Exactly. Also, I'm a really good listener if you can get me to keep my mouth closed.

"Are my teeth too white?" Is that possible to have too white of teeth? Yes it is my friend. Those bleach strips muggles use to make their smiles pearly white can bleach the gums as well and then you have teeth that look like Juicey Fruit gum that you glued into your teeth. I'm a pureblood but I am proud to say I now know quite a few things about muggle culture. Did you know dentists supposedly clean your teeth for a living? Painless too, Hermione says. Cool don't you think?

I look up from my doodling to see Parvati running a finger along her front teeth, making small squeaky noises in her attempts to wipe them clean of… plague I believe it's called. Plack? Her nose is practically in her teacup full of steaming tea! She'll drown from snortation if I don't save her! I grab her by the scruff of the neck and pull her back. "Iyee!" She screeches. Her hand slaps over her mouth as everyone turned in their seats to look at her. I grin sheepishly.

"Guess what everyone! Parvati's marrying Neville! Isn't that horrendous?" I smile extra big for everyone. Most snicker and shake their heads before returning to their teas. Professor Trelawney bustles over with her bushy hair, large round glasses, and a panicky expression on her wrinkled face.

"Are you certain of this dear? I haven't felt any vibes of the nature-"

"No, no. My imagination is playing tricks on me Professor." Parvati purses her pouty lips at me. I grin cheekily. Professor Trelawney sighs in relief.

"I am most glad, Miss Patil. I'd hate for you to meet such a fate." She turns and bustles away, clicking her tongue at Hermione's obvious lack of enthusiasm in her classroom and Bulstrode's refusal to look into the dreaded teacup. Vincent Goyle snickers behind us.

"Nice cover up, Brown. Bet you've been fanaticizing having a piece of that ass." Parvati gives him the evil eye.

"You actually know how to pronounce a 12 letter word Goyle. I applaud you for your extensive intellectual choice of vocabulary words." Did I ever mention she's in Ravenclaw? She claps her hands together slowly in approval. He grunts before licking his lips.

"Why don't you go for a piece of that ass Patil? I'm sure Longbottom will gladly share himself between you and Brown."

I peer into my teacup, studying the leaf patterns carefully. "Gasp, Goyle. What is this? The leaves show I'm going to throw scalding tea in your face! Look!" Being the idiot he is, he sneers and peers forward.

"I don't see-" Swish of my wand goes the heating charm and splash goes my tea into his pasty fat face. "Ow! Oh my eyes! It burns!" His fingers fly to his beady little brown eyes as he leans back in his stool, falling onto the floor onto his fat ass. Beside him, Pansy bursts out laughing.

"You dolt! How did you not see that coming?" She cackles before turning her eyes to me. "Job well done Brown." She reaches a hand and pulls Goyle back into his seat, smoothing her short black hair. Pansy can be a hell of a cow at times, but she's got a great sense of style. Goyle splutters out a tealeaf as Trelawney flutters to their table.

"Mr Goyle! You've spilled perfectly fine tea onto my floor!" Her voice became shrill. "And you're eating my tea leaves! Those are not edible young man!" She ripped the soaked leaf out of his mouth, stomping away. "10 points from Slytherin for your lack of concentration Mr Goyle and I'll see you in detention tonight!"

He wipes his face dry with his sleeve. "Ah darn, that's right after dinner. I wonder if there'll be custards." Pansy slaps him in the back of the head before continuing to file her nails. Parvati snickers behind her hand, her teeth forgotten.

"I still say she's a quack!" Hermione complains beside Ron as we leave Trelawney's class and head for Sirius Black's D.A.D.A. I know I was pretty shocked too to see him pop out of thin air to stand by Harry's side to fight Volymoot. He's scared everyone actually. Now, he's just a really cool guy in need of serious haircut, no pun intended.

Ron sighs softly.

"Why do you bother with the class then 'Mione? Why not drop it?"

"And replace it with what Ron? A free class?" At his feeble nod, she rolls her eyes. "No, that will never do. I need as many N.E.W.T. s as I can possibly get. You should know that by now."

"Ah hush up Hermione. He just made a suggestion, give him a break." Parvati turns to her so she's walking backwards, baring her teeth. "Are my teeth too white?"

Hermione shakes her head. "I'll see you after class." She gave Ron a quick chaste kiss on the mouth before heading towards Charms. Ron smiles after her before departing in the opposite direction. I place a hand over my heart and sigh.

"Those two were just made for each other." I knew this from the very beginning. My master plan had worked. Do you want to know my master plan? It's quite simple really. Date Ron, swoon and ogle all him to make Hermione jealous, get Ron to dump me for her, and then her calm and non- googooness makes him more madly in love with her and then everyone wins! I pretend to no longer have a broken heart as I am a fully mature adult now and I now ogle every hot body.

Parvati slips her compact mirror back in her bag, fluffing her ponytail, yes her ponytail. "Ron doesn't hold much sex appeal. His hair is too thick to be shaggy and he's got too many freckles on his face." She wrinkles her nose. "He's also gangly."

I grin. "Yes but under that baggy shirt and robes is a body that is divine! All muscle girl." I rub my own tummy. I've got muscle, I just need to suck in my baby fat.

"Yes I know my body is divine, but you needn't be so bold Miss Brown." Professor Black smirks down at me. I blush. Okay, so I'm patting my tummy at the front of the class with everyone watching me.

"Oh you caught me Professor." I giggle loudly, fluttering my eyelashes. "Now what are you going to do with me?"

His grin is instantaneous. "Sick my girl friend on you, that's what." I stick my tongue out, grabbing a seat beside Parvati at the side of the room. His current girl friend, Jody, is a journalist with a nasty red headed temper. She's a lot of fun to hang around with at parties.

Due to N.E.W.T. classes intermingling the houses, our class of 26 consisted of 11 Ravenclaws, 8 Gryffindors, 5 Slytherins, and 2 daring Hufflepuffs.

Professor Black is a hyper boy full of energy. He has us in pairs within seconds. Guess who I will be challenging today? Guess! I command you to guess! Ha! You're wrong! I'm going against Pansy Parkinson. She's not a bad shot. During the war, we became real tight with each other, watching one another's backs and all. Where was Parvati during all this? She's not much of a fighter and became part of the Healer brigade. She doesn't like violence, or the sight of blood. Poor ting faints at the sight of the stuff and feels faint at the mention of blood. She is not meant to fight in this world. Why is she here? Because she can be. Simple as that.

Parvati and I got comfy seats as Harry and Victor took their stances. Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff. Vic's doomed. He's more than doomed. He's toast. His toast is doomed.

The fight lasted for 2 minutes before Harry stopped being nice and ended it all with a quick _Vinegarry_. That's vines shooting out of the ground and binding that person to the floor. Poor Hufflepuff, he's out of breath. Harry stood down.

Parvati giggles as Neville stands on stage, shaking in his socks. Poor dear. He's against Draco. "5 sickles he won't win this one." I pause. The poor Gryffindor stood proud with his head held high, and his ankles knocking together.

I shrug. "5 sickles he wins." Parvati gawks at me. "Are you insane!!" Everyone around us turns. She's outraged. "Lavender just bet that Neville's going to win this thing!" Everyone's mouths drop. Luna beams.

"Your support is most kind, Lavender. Neville is sure to win this with our support." Against the two of us, everyone bet large amounts of money that Draco was going to whip Neville's ass. So much for confidence.

Professor Black chuckles behind his hand, waving a hand at the duellers. "You may begin." And boy did they begin. Parvati is all like Hoah! And I was all like Ah! And then Parvati was like Whew! And I was all Grr! It's a very tense moment for the both of us.

I sat on the edge of my seat, biting my lip. If I lost, I'd be coughing up money for everyone. I cannot lose. I don't have that kind of money! I'm too young and beautiful to be poor! I twist a strand of my hair, tugging whenever Neville managed to block a spell.

Breathing heavily now, Neville screams in a rather non-manly, girlish voice. "_Catanavous_!" Uh? Draco pauses, his brain obviously trying to recollect what the hell that spell was. That was his first mistake. The purple light hit him square in the chest before he tumbles off the duelling stage and lands on the floor in a cloud of sparkles.

"Draco Malfoy?" Professor Black rushes forward, lifting the Slytherin's black cloak. Problem: No body. On the floor in wrinkles and dust, oh is Draco going to be pissed, and boots… but no Draco. A lump wiggles to the opening of the shirt. Large greyish/blue eyes on a skinny creamy face pops up. Said eyes look very grumpy. Oh shit. Draco's a cat!

Neville just made me a very rich woman.

_This is the first chapter! I'm doing my best here. I don't really know Lavender all that well so in my world, she has a chaotic mind! Review please! :)_


	2. Chapter 2

Me-OW

_Disclaimer: Thank you Purpleabsofsteel. No one else has reviewed this story which makes me very sad but you always do, that's why I love you so much. _

Chapter 2

**Draco's POV**

Dad's probably rolling in his grave right now at the sight of me. First I get turned into a ferret, now Longbottom turns me into a cat. Longbottom! Out of all the idiots in the world, it has to be Longbottom! Merlin, how the gods must hate me. Nothing happens to Weasley or Potter. Just me. I am not a happy cat right now. I'm in an exceptionally pissy mood because Professor Sirius Black, the man in need of a decent barber and manicurist, decides to carry me to Dumbledore and continues to laugh at my expense! He's always despised us Slytherins especially my father. Malfoys are not meant to be laughed at. There will be hell to pay once I'm restored to my gorgeousness.

Right now I am sitting on Professor Dumbledore's desk, sitting proud and tall. Mom always insisted on a straight posture, I am not about to let all of my good breeding go to waste, especially at a time such as this. I flicker my tail in annoyance as the old coot chuckles. "Only in your class Professor Black does this type of thing happen." He steeples his fingers, eyeing me in his usual amusement. Why doesn't he just turn me back already so we can all get along with our little lives and I can go hunt down Longbottom to slaughter him? Come, come we are wasting daylight here! "Out of curiosity, what spell did Mr Longbottom mean to pronounce?"

Professor Black shrugs casually. "Beats me Professor."

"It seems he meant to say _Cattaronics_, sir. The spell causes your assailant's eyes to tear, making it difficult to see for about 10 minutes, giving you the chance to run away or fight him with an advantage. It's a rather handy spell to know, especially when walking the streets at night." The Head Girl know-it-all pipes right up, assuming her know-it-all stance beside the school's Head Boy. Potter smiles at her affectionately, draping an arm around her shoulders. Ooo, Weasley wouldn't like that too much.

"Ah, my walking textbook. I'll never leave your side again." Granger playfully slugs him in the stomach, grinning sheepishly. Professor Dumbledore smiles at the pair.

"Ah yes, I can see where in a state of panic Mr Longbottom would confuse the two spells." I roll my large eyes. Longbottom has a difficult time finding his classes before the bell; of course he's going to mess up duelling spells. I growl softly, causing those stupid sparkling blue eyes to study me once more. "In that case, it would seem you'll be stuck in this state for some time yet, Mr Malfoy. It'll take Professor Snape a few weeks to complete the potion needed for you to consume in order to resume your natural human form." He pushes his glasses further up on his nose, sighing in a pleased note. "Until then, you'll be looked after by one of our Heads."

Aw hell no! I growl at Dumbledore. There is no way I'm staying with Potter or Granger! With my luck, that stupid feline of hers Crookshits no… Crookshanks… or whatever her name is would most likely attack me on the spot. I mean; I am a sexy cat. There's just no hiding my sex appeal from the female population.

Professor Black laughs. "I think Miss Granger would be most qualified to look after the little runt, sir. She has experience with cats." I snarl at him, showing him my pearly whites.

"Oh shut up Malfoy. It'll only be temporary." Granger strides up to the desk, lifting me off my seat. I shall now wreak my wrath upon this disobedient girl! With a snarl, I dig my claws into her arms. "You're not helping your case, Malfoy." Granger snarls through her teeth.

Hey! You woman! What the hell are you doing! Granger has pulled me away from her body and is now holding me… oh Merlin this is embarrassing… she's holding me by the scruff of the neck! Better hide my balls, wouldn't want to satisfy any of Potter's kinky fantasies. That boy has been trying to seduce me since fourth year. Granger brings her face close to mine. Her face is even more ugly up close, bigger too now that I'm smaller. I growl in warning. She smells funny too. Dust and weak perfume, no doubt to entice the Weasel.

"Couldn't one of the Slytherins look after him Professor? Hermione shouldn't have to watch out for Malfoy as he clearly doesn't want her help." Ah, this is the first time Potter has ever said something smart. I squirm in Granger's grasp. Pansy should be more than willing to pamper me; she's never failed to before.

Or not.

Did I ever mention to you that my life sucks? It does. Granger and I are seated in the Great Hall with the Slytherins. This meeting is not going well at all.

"Get him away from me Granger!" Pansy shoos us away with her hands, her face scrunched up. "Draco, babe I'm sorry. I'm allergic to cats." She covers her nose with a laced handkerchief. Drats, of all things to be allergic to it has to be cats? Grrr. Pansy quickly scoots down the bench, avoiding so much as a glance at me.

"Settle down Malfoy. What about you Zabini?" Oh hell no.

Blaise raises an Italian eyebrow. "Me Miss Head Girl? I don't think it would be wise. I'm not a cat lover and quite frankly," He leans closer. "Packing Draco around would really cramp my style."

Granger raises an eyebrow of her own, gripping the nape of my neck in order to keep me from leaping away. "Style? You mean studying?" How the hell did we get such a stupid and naïve child as Head Girl?

Blaise winks at her. "With the ladies." He glances down at me with a cheeky smile. "Sorry mate, you understand." Oh boy do I understand. When I'm back to normal, I'm going to make your life miserable. No _lady_ will want to be seen with you or go in a broom closet with you.

Granger rolls her eyes, glancing further down the table. "Goyle- never mind." She shakes her head at Goyle's piggish display with caesar salad. Thank Merlin the girl is finally showing some common sense! Goyle would accidentally sit on me and flatten me to death. I'd be an imprint in the sofa or worse… on his butt. Shudder. Shudder. I'm way to sexy to die in such a dimeaning fashion.

"I'll look after him!" Oh shit. Large hands lift me out of Granger's skinny arms and I am now being smothered against a fat squishy bosom. Bulstrode coos at me. "Oh you poor darling. I shall look after you!" Who knew she had a thing for cats? Or maybe she just has a thing for me. "We'll have to get you a green collar and I'll have to give you baths every night…" Oh no. I'm not staying with her! Granger, wipe that stupid grin off your face! I push against this massive woman with little progress.

"He's all yours Millicent. Take good care of him." Dead Granger. You are dead, I will personally Avada you.

"Oh I will!" Millicent pets me from head to back, really, really hard. Around us, people eating their dinner snickers on my behalf. Alright, I shall now memorize the sea of faces that are snickering and I shall curse them directly to Hades and point and laugh at them. I'll make certain Hades gives them each an extra poke with his fork thingy that he always carries. That'll teach them to laugh at me! A Malfoy for crying out loud!

"You know I almost feel sorry for the little guy." Huh? Do I hear a sympathetic voice in the air? I manage to strain my neck over Millicent's shoulder to see Brown and one of the Patil girls leave the Great Hall, staring in our direction.

"Yeah I know what cha mean." Patil is currently filing her nails, not bothering to spare me a second glance. Brown is giving me a final pitying glance before following her best friend. Curse those twits for not saving me!! Hell, lets just curse Granger for leaving me in this position.

I do not like being fondled by a large brown haired cow. Millicent may have lost some weight over the years, but she's not exactly at the point where she's attractive. Her perfume is too over powering. Smells like someone spilled a tank of roses over her body. As you can probably tell, I am a crabby cat right now.

"Oh, there's a good boy. Let me finish eating and I'll rustle up some food in the kitchens for your dinner. I'm sure we can find some cat food in there. Yes we can." What am I? Four? And who said I'd be eating cat food?

I attempt to pry away from Millicent's long fake nails. They are currently digging into my very flesh as she struts down the corridors to the kitchens. She keeps thinking petting me hard on my body is comforting. I think she's trying to get me to purr. I wouldn't hold my breath Millicent. Actually, do hold your breath and I'll count to a million. We'll see who wins.

"It'll be like having a sleepover Draco! Won't that be exciting?" Millicent also continues to ask questions, questions that I obviously cannot answer and would rather not hear to begin with!

"And we'll cuddle together by the fire as I'm doing homework and I'll make a cute little basket that'll be just comfy for you to sleep in! We'll ignore Pansy's whining. She can handle having her nose plugged for a time. She owes you that much."

You'd better believe she does, though she won't put up with me for long. She'll probably move in with Goyle and Zabini to avoid me. I now remember back in second year Granger's cat came too close to her and she had hives all over her face and her nose would not stop raining boogers. It was so disgusting! Apparently, Millicent here seems to have forgotten this.

She reaches a hand out, having to stop smothering me momentarily to tickle the pear for the portrait to open. Stepping through the door, she and I are overwhelmed by the alluring smell of… cookies! Chocolate chip cookies if I'm not mistaken! I lick my chops as Millicent carries me closer to the wonderful aroma.

"Flinky doesn't know how to thank Miss for her kindness!" An overjoyed house elf is currently holding a large perfectly round and delectable cookie under her large bulbous nose. She's got her thin right arm wrapped around a muggle jean clad leg. Said leg is quite long and… quite attractive. I look up to see whom the young sexy legged beauty is- HOLY SHIT! Brown? Oh for the love of all that is sanitary in this world! Kill me now! Ugh, wait I'll just be smothered by Millicent's overly large bosom.

Brown smiles down at the stupid house elf. "Now Flinky, it's simply a repayment for letting me use the kitchen practically every night. Gryffindor tower thanks you from the bottoms of their stomachs." She's shaking that long leg of hers to dispose of the elf's grimy fingers. Flinky bows, her nose scraping the floor.

"Flinky thanks you again miss and will wash dishes…"

"No, you just go on with whatever you usually do Flinky. This dishes are my babies." Brown dumps bowls and measuring thingies into a bubbled sink. "Go on now." Flinky giggles hysterically again before disappearing with a pop. I've always wanted to pop away, but it was illegal to do so until this year and even then I haven't tried it for some odd reason. Too busy I suppose.

"Close your mouth Bulstrode unless you want to mop up your drool from the floors. I don't want to have anyone slipping and causing me to be banned from the kitchens." Brown set another pan of cookie dough into the oven. Mmmm, I love the smell of cookies! I want a cookie! Give me a cookie damn it!

"Whoa, settle down Draco. You don't want to fall now do you?" Yeah actually I do. Millicent squishes me tighter to her bosom, a meaty hand wrapping around my neck. Lovely, now I will die before receiving a cookie! Chocolate, bahhh!

Brown smirks at me. "I assume you've come to feed the twitchy little kitten Milly?" Twitchy little kitten? What is she talking about? I am a sexy strong and very muscley cat! I am a tiger! I am a lion! No wait, I'm not a Gryffindork. I am a panther. I creep and I crawl oh so sneakily around my preys. I am the King of the jungle woman! You are my slaves! All of you! I dig my claws into Millicent's arm, causing her to screech in surprise and let her grip slip.

That's all I need. With a mighty leap, the wind blowing in my fur, I land very gracefully, only getting a back leg patted into a hot cookie. I land on the counter. My feast awaits me! Muhahahahahahahahahaha- cough- cough. Oops, almost coughed up a fur ball. Yech. Why is my foot burning? Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow! It burns! Didn't Zabini tell me Goyle had this problem in their Divination class today? Ow ow ow ow ow! My poor little paw! It's on fire! Chocolaty fire!

"Oh for goodness sake Malfoy! Quit your whimpering, you're making me feel sympathetic towards you." As you should be! A firm hand lifts me by the stomach flips me onto my back, and I'm assailed with blondish/brown curls. A cold cloth is now wrapped around my left back leg, massaging it. Aaahhh, this feels really nice. This is how you are to treat your king. This fuzzy purple sweater is pretty warm too. I've always liked the slight off the shoulder look on girls. Very alluring. But not for Gryffindors. Nope, nada. You all belong in sweat pants and paper bags.

"Are you alright Draco?" Millicent's round face is now in my line of vision. "You shouldn't have jumped from my arms like that! You wouldn't have gotten hurt." She's scolding me! Humph. Well I'm not staying with you a moment longer, I'll stick with Brown. She knows how to treat a King!

"You were squishing him to death with your bust Bulstrode." Brown continues to massage the chocolate out of my paw, ignoring Millicent's glare of doom. She looks down at me in amusement. "Who knew I could make Draco Malfoy purr." What? Malfoys do _not _purr. Ah crap I am purring! Desist at once your stupid throat! There, ahem. Much better. If I was not a cat right now, I'd take your comment as a sexual innuendo Brown! She lifts the cloth off my foot. "Better?" She sets me down on the counter away from her heavenly smelling cookies. I gingerly press my back paw down. And the verdict is… No pain! Yay! You didn't just hear that, Malfoys do not Yay! We smirk in satisfaction. I smirk.

Brown laughs dryly. "That's the first time I've ever seen a cat smirk Malfoy. You look ridiculous." I do not!

"He does not! How dare you say something like that in front of him!" Millicent plants her hands on her large hips, preparing to do battle. Ah, my knight in shining armour.

Brown raises her hands in defeat. "Take it easy silly- Milly. Eat a cookie, it'll make you feel better." She tosses one to Millicent. What am I? Chopped liver? I meow in protest. Brown looks over at me. "You can have bite, Malfoy. Cats are not meant to eat cookies." This cat does. I was born to eat cookies. I'm the cookie master! Give me a cookie damn it!

She sets a piece down in front of me. "You need some real food. Did you guys give him anything before?" Millicent shakes her head, finishing off her cookie in three bites.

"Nope. Came here looking for cat food."

Brown nods. "Okay, then I'll get outta your hair." Flicking her wand, the dishes are cleaning themselves and she piles her cookies onto a plate and heads for the door. Where do you think your going with those yummies? Get back here! I give another mighty leap and race over to Brown, causing her to nearly trip as I attack her shoe. "Whoa! Take it easy Malfoy! I could've booted you in the head!" She reaches down and scratches my ear. "You need to be more careful."

Beefy hands lift me off the floor, one hand holding the scruff of my neck. "I've got it from here, Brown." Millicent assures the stupid Gryffindor. Brown nods.

"See you two later." She exits the door. Millicent sighs.

"Alright, now lets see about that cat food. Flinky!!"

Malfoys do not eat cat food, I will not be degraded like this! Brown get back here and feed me another cookie!!! I'm telling my mother on you! Boy will she be snappy at you!

_Done the 2nd chapter! I'm going away for the next 10 days, so when I get back I expect to see lots of reviews! :)_


	3. Chapter 3

Me-OW

_Disclaimer: I'm back!! Everyone knows what I do and do not own, etc. etc. I've been having writer's block for the last while. It's very frustrating._

Chapter 3

**Parvati's POV**

High heels are good for the posture. Bad for the footsies and my toes but good for the posture. I've found it hard to slouch when wearing heels. I also find it painful to walk but they make my feet look absolutely fabulous!

It's a brand new day today. The sun is shining, the birds are twittering away, Lavender is sauntering beside me in a pair of gold heels identical to mine, and we are going to the Great Hall for breakfast. Lavender and I are trying a _Hailey Kellis_ diet. For breakfast, we eat an orange, did you know eating an orange makes your stomach smaller which results in the reduction of ones appetite. I read this a few week's ago and decided to put it to the test.

We each have an orange and then we have zero trans fat vanilla yoghurt. We each have half a piece of toast with a little butter and a tall glass of milk. For lunch it's a garden salad with a light dressing and pieces of chicken in the salad with a glass of orange juice. For dinner, we have a small portion of rice, carrot sticks and broccoli, and some type of red meat with a glass of water.

Lavender and I have lost ten pounds together. We're planning to continue this diet for another week and see the results. My complexion has improved magnificently. It's very smooth, way better than Padma's. She globs her skin in creams that make a wet sheen around her face. It looks like she's sweating after a hard Quidditch practice, not that she plays. She doesn't like looking sweaty.

"Have you noticed the oranges are getting considerably smaller in size?" Lavender is eyeing her orange with distaste. The round ball is way smaller than her palm. I think her hands have expanded.

"The oranges are getting scarce but they're not smaller Lavender. Now eat your fruit." I carefully bite into the orange, careful to avoid orange juice from dripping down my chin. Dripping chins are very unattractive you know. Lavender does the same.

"They're less juicy too, probably because they're smaller."

"They're not smaller!" Lavender raises an eyebrow.

"Then how come they're more wrinkly than before? The house elves are slacking off on the oranges Parvati. It's a conspiracy to save the oranges from extinction."

I swallow, patting my mouth with a napkin. "Extinction? Lav, there are other people who have been eating oranges before us! Two people such as us cannot bring upon the extinction of oranges in a week. It's impossible."

"Not necessarily." Lavender protests, pushing curls out of her face. "We each have an orange a day, that's 14 in a week. Times that by like 4 and that are a whole lot of oranges gone because of us."

I frown. "Why times it by 4?"

"Aren't there 4 weeks in November?" Oh boy.

I shake my head, digging into my cup of yoghurt. "It still won't bring the extinction of oranges Lavvie darling. I didn't realize you wanted to continue this diet for a month. Our original plans were two weeks." I pat her hand condescendingly. "So technically, we'd only be eating 28 oranges. I think they're safe from us."

Lavender huffs softly, dipping her finger into her yoghurt. "Maybe." Stubborn Gryffindor this one. When will she learn a Ravenclaw's intelligence is so much more vast than her own?

**Draco's POV**

Need sleep, need coffee, need food, need to get away from stinky skunky doo-doo perfume. Not necessarily in that order. Millicent, stop scratching my head! My skull can only take so much torture before I must bite your fingers off! Ah what the hell, I'll bite you now!

_Crunch._

"Ow Draco! You'll be fed soon enough! There's no need to be grumpy with me!" Eeew, nasty stuff! Do you never wash your hands woman? Eewewewewewewewew. Millicent pulls her left hand back, sucking on the spot where I bit into her knuckle. I do believe I have drawn blood. I am so evil. Dad would be so proud.

"How are you holding up Miss Bulstrode?" Ah there's the old coot come to check up on my well-being. Well you know what Dumble- butt!? I had no sleep last night! This beast of a woman decides to put me in a round basket with silk near the foot of her bed! The silk was way too slippery and made my fur all staticy! The silk was green, which was manly enough but the worst part of my night was the monstrous snoring coming from this fat cow! She needs to go in for a nasal problem to eliminate all the snot from her nose and not sleep on her back! So gross! And the thing that just ticks me off is she's going to force feed me cat food and milk! Me, licking from a bowl of all things!

"We're doing just fine Professor. We had no troubles last night did we Draco?" There's that baby talk again. Professor, do you have any idea how freakin annoying that is? Do you? I lower my ears as she pats my head affectionately.

"Well that's simply wonderful. It seems Mr. Malfoy is in excellent hands Miss Bulstrode." I think I'm being ignored. I am in the mood to growl.

Grrr.

Nobody ignores a Malfoy! Nobody! With a mighty yowl, I rip a chunk of skin out of Bulstrode's arm, causing her to drop me in surprise and I go shoosting from her arms to the floor at a dead run. It's weird running on four legs. I think I prefer my two legs to this.

Surprised yelps are echoing throughout the hall as I run under tables and over people's smelly shoes. I am invincible! Nobody can catch me! Nobody! I shall survive!

"Stupefy!" Ah shit. Potter always has always been in the habit of destroying my fun. That is whenever he's not trying to seduce me into the Gryffindor dorms. I once commanded him to bring Granger out of Gryffindor Tower so we could finish up our Potions project (she had all our notes, kind of need them you know) and Potter kept trying to get me to step into the Gryffindor portrait hole where he could privately trap me and have his wicked way with my extremely steamy body. I did not fall for his tricks. I am a survivor; I am not about to fall for such a gullible and ingenious trap of seduction! I am attracted to women!

Women!

Yes he seems to be dating Weaselette but that's just for appearances. I know he watches me during Slytherin quidditch games. I know all.

Gentle hands lift me up, by the robes I can tell I'm under the Gryffindor table, just my luck of course. Bad planning on my part. I sniff the air, smelling orange and… yoghurt. Yuck, breakfast breath. Close your mouth already Patil! Ah, the stench is making me nauseated. Aren't you in Ravenclaw? Go eat with your own clan woman! Where do your loyalties stand?

"Aaww, is Mr McFuzziball grumpy?" Brown grins cheekily at me, a wayward curl wiggling out from behind her scarf to her forehead. Bitch, who does she think she is going all baby talk on me. Mocking me of all things.

I think it's Parvati… those two are inseparable. The twin gingerly set me on the table, right beside milk. I hate milk. I am going to ban all milk from this universe. I shall kill all milk-producing cows. Nobody shall receive their milk now! Nobody shall have it if I decide I don't want it in existence! Muhahahahaha. Ahem, okay growling face. Grrrr. I growl under my throat, glaring daggers at Patil.

"You're a demented cat, you know that Malfoy?" She wrinkles her nose. "You smell like shit too. Did you roll around in roses before breakfast or something?" Using her wand, she lifts the spell Potter sicked on me. And to answer your question Patil twin; no. This morning Millicent decides to be all-cute and give me a bath using her soap. It took 15 minutes for the burn to leave my eyes thank you very much. I will never be able to look at Bulstrode the same again. Shudder, shudder. She used boiling water, scalding my poor manly paws.

"Draco! Baby come back here! You don't want to be eating with Gryffindorks." Millicent stretches her grubby hands out to me. I arch my back and hiss. Like hell I'm going back to you you maniac! You think I'm stupid or something?! Stupid Malfoys are not!

"Gryffindorks? You've gotta be kidding Milly. That's like what? Year 2nd stuff. You're not very original dearie." Brown pauses to sip some milk before Patil twin slaps Millicent's looming hands.

"We'd all appreciate you keeping your hands away from our dishes thank you very much." She sniffs delicately. "Don't know what infestations you've picked up in recent days." Ooo, sharp tongue this twin. Behind us Potter chuckles.

"Ease off girls. Bulstrode, either join us or leave with Malfoy to sit with your little group in Slytherin." He thinks he's being some hero or something? He's not coming to anyone's rescue here.

Millicent huffs loudly, tossing brown hair off her shoulders. "Fine, I'll just take Draco and be on my way." Her voice becomes high pitched. "Come here baby. Come to Millicent."

Brown gaffs. "What is he? 5? You're acting like an idiot Milly." Smart girl this Gryffindor. I still think she's a bitch. Don't get me wrong. Rising to my feet, I saunter all sexy cat-like between the two girls. Where's the bacon you idiots? I demand to be fed manly food! None of this sissy food like fruit and cat food! I man needs meaty, hearty breakfasts with lots of bacon and hash browns!

"Looks like our Slytherin here wishes to partake in meals with our two lovely ladies here." Ah shut up Zabini. You've been wanting to bang this Patil twin for two years. And Brown? She's got no taste, deciding to throw herself at Weasley. Bleck.

Blaise saunters over to Millicent with an evil I'm-going-to-make-your-life-a-living-hell-while-looking-cute grin. I don't trust him. "Maybe you should look after him Brown. He seems to prefer your company to ours."

HELL NO!

"Hello no!" Hey!

_Next chapter's coming right up. Right now I need some hearty breakfast. I'm starving! Review my loves!_


	4. Chapter 4

Me-OW

_Disclaimer: You know, I know, we're moving on!_

Chapter 4

**Lavender's POV**

I used to have this bunny Binky. Used to, keyword here. He got eaten by a fox. I haven't had a pet since. Parvati doesn't mention pets around me anymore, she's a good friend like that. She also doesn't really like pets. Now Blaise wants me to look after Draco Malfoy? Is he insane?

"Hell no!" I throw my hands up into the air, smacking Harry in the nose. Luckily for me, I didn't stick a finger up his nose. That would be so gross. I glare at Harry to go sit down and eat before focusing on Zabini again. "Do you want Malfoy to be eaten by a fox? Cause I'm sure I can arrange it!" I hate foxes. My poor Binky.

Millicent nods adamantly. "Blaise, you can't be considering leaving poor Draco here in the hands of… this Gryffindor." Ooh, this Gryffindor. I'm not sure how I'll ever recover from such a blow. I will try though.

Parvati snorts delicately. "He's safer with Lavender than you Bulstrode. What did you do to him? He smells like roses for Merlin's sake."

"She's right you know."

"Go eat your cereal Harry." Harry shrugs before resuming his seat once again beside Ron. He picks up his spoon, eyes our group for a moment and chows down.

Pansy rests an elbow on Millicent's shoulder. "I don't plan to remain in Zabini and Goyle's room. Their dorm reeks of goodness knows what. I- Ah-choo!" Pansy presses a handkerchief to her nose before continuing. "And I don't like not having my own bed." She glares at Zabini. He grins at her.

"You weren't complaining last night."

"Well I am now."

Blaise shrugs drawing his face into a pout. "Seems you two are stuck with him then."

"I am not taking him in! Cats shed fur like crazy! And they smell horribly!" Parvati crosses her arms, her chin tilted in defiance. I shrug my shoulders.

"I'm not taking him. He's your guys' problem." Malfoy hisses at me, his tail twitching. His eyes are narrowed at me, I never knew cats could narrow their eyes. Creepy. "Knock it off Malfoy. You look demented."

"You mean he usually isn't?" Parvati and I stroll out the hall, identical smirks on our faces. We're going to Divination! Yay!!

* * *

Professor Trelawney has pulled out the crystal balls! We're to look into our own futures. Looking into other's futures are child's play. Looking into your own soul is much more intricate and takes a deeper concentration. All I'm getting is cloudy glass, nothing about my future.

"My nose is getting blackheads again." Parvati poked at her nose, frowning in annoyance. "Those creams have failed me." I smile.

"You do not Parvati. Your nose is perfect since going to that spa last summer." I turn back to my ball. Peering closely, I study the colour that's suddenly appeared. Greyish smokey green… AHHHHHH! "Holey Chicadoo!" I jerk my face back. I raise my ball to find a grinning cream coloured cat with large grey/green eyes. I bare my teeth.

"Damn you! What the hell are you trying to pull?" I press a hand to my beating heart. Behind me, Goyle and Pansy snicker.

"He's been planning that for awhile." Pansy blows her nose, grinning all the way. I growl at her.

"Can it or I'll huck this thing at your face and watch it sprout blotches the size of Goyle's mouth." Pansy clammed up, turning back to glaring at her crystal ball. Goyle stares at me in puzzlement, working through the insult. It must be horrible to be stupid.

I turn back in my seat, glaring at Draco. "Alright you little bugger. Get the hell away from me and go crawl back to your keeper." I smirk at his growl. "Get going." I point across the room to where Millicent is crawling under tables searching for him, bumping into people's feet and creeping everyone out.

Does he go? Nope. You know what he does? He saunters, yes a cat saunters and plops right down on my lap, kneading his claws into my lap as he's purring. Shit.

"Get off me or I'll throw you to Milly." I flick his head, causing a nail to hold longer than necessary. My thigh tenses. Okay, plan B. "Parvati, rip him off will you. My skirt can't take much more."

Parvati glances up from her ball to reach her hand out. She quickly withdrawls as Draco snaps his teeth in her direction. "No thanks. I like my manicure to remain thanks." She folds her hands beside her crystal ball. "You do know cats don't have owners Lavender."

I frown. "What do they have?"

She winces in sympathy. "They have staff."

"I assume you're not going to be helping."

"You assume correctly."

Damn it! I glance down at the grinning evil piece of doom that is currently purring and kneading my legs into severe pain. I'm not going to be a staff for anyone. I press my lips together. Okay, why I am about to do this I am not going to try to justify it by explaining it to your delinquent little minds. It makes to sense to me and that's all that matters. I pick Draco up and throw him at Millicent's head who is currently intimidating a fellow student two tables in front of me.

* * *

Sadly Professor Trelawney does not agree. Seeing a fellow student being thrown across the room is highly inappropriate and a high disturbance in her class. She has sent me to Dumbledore's office where I am now currently sitting in front of him, my stance unrepenting.

"You threw Mr Malfoy across the room. Is that correct?" Dumbledore folds his hands together on his desk, leaning forward. I shake my head.

"Two tables ahead is not across the room. I was simply trying to get him to Millicent Bulstrode who was diligently searching for him. She was becoming quite frantic." I keep my face sympathetic, playing all my cards.

Dumbledore smiles at me. "I see. Well I am afraid we do not condone such behaviour in this school. So…" He leans back in his chair, a warm smile on his face. "I suggest you watch after Draco Malfoy diligently so no one throws him at your face and causing serious scratches on your face." I smile. Bulstrode looked ready to murder me. Parvati's already planning my funeral. It'll be open casket. Dumbledore's words sunk in.

"But Professor! I'm a Gryffindor! Malfoy wouldn't trust me as far as he can throw _me_ right now!"

Dumbledore laughs softly. "Let us not get quite so dramatic. You will look after him from now on. You're in most of his classes anyways. It shouldn't be a problem for you to bring his homework for him to do once he's back to normal." I've been dismissed.

At the door, I turn back to him. "Parvati's going to be pissed off at you." I close the door only to stick my head back in. "Sir." You've gotta be careful of the old man's delicate sensibilities. Wouldn't want him to keel over in a heart attack or anything. Closing the door, I stomp down the steps and out the gargoyle and head to my dormitory. I feel like skipping class right now.

You know what's worse than finding out I have to look after Malfoy? It's coming into my room to find everything torn to shreds, perfume bottles broken and leaking, drawers thrown open and on the floor. I'm a pig, I admit it, but it's an organized mess. I can see my floor and I know where everything is. I used to drive Hermione insane with my messes. This is 10 times worse. The worst part?

Draco Malfoy lounging on my pillow with a cat- ate- the- canary grin on his face, kneading a pair of my lacy black underwear. He seems pretty satisfied with himself. That's just great. That's… just… great.

_I'm struggling with this, I'm not going to lie. Anyone got any ideas, please tell me. :)_


	5. Chapter 5

Me-OW

_Disclaimer: I own whatever JK doesn't. That's right, I own the world!! Sucks to be you doesn't it? :) _

Chapter 5

**Draco's POV**

Here's a riddle for you: What does it take to make a Malfoy feel warm and fuzzy inside?

You don't know? Fine I'll give multiple choice. Is it:

A). Revenge

B). Revenge

C). Revenge

These are your options. When in doubt pick B)... Aaaaaaannnd you've chosen…. C). Okay, that's not what I was going for but you win! Yippee for you give yourself a pat on the back and then get back to worshiping me from afar.

Ah yes, revenge. Gives a comforting feeling that goes straight to the empty space where there's supposed to be a heart only it's a big empty hole filled with pride at pulling off such a marvellous revenge.

Watching Lavender Brown's face go from pale and resigned to purple and furious is quite comical. I'd cackle if I didn't have the hazard of choking on a fur ball. I'll just smirk. Knead into some sexy lace underwear…hmmm; I wonder how far Weasel- dork got with this chit. Then again, she was playing matchmaker with Weasel and the Beaver so… probably not very far. Like any girl with a lick of common sense would allow him past 2nd base, hell stay away from 1st, or better yet, just strike him out. Make him cry! Too bad all her panties aren't lacy. But I did find them in different colours such as lime green, pink, red, more black, orange, purple, etc. Ooooo, the blackmail material I am going to have when I'm back to my human self! I can hardly wait!!

Brown raises both hands to her head and lets out a screech. "You imbecile! You sneaky slimy greasy little pipsqueak with no balls! How the hell did you even get in here? How'd you even infiltrate Gryffindor tower with your disgusting presence!?!"

Hey, lady! I have balls alright!! Mine are way more impressive than Weasel's pathetic one inch! I could blow your mind if I weren't a cat! Just ask Potter! He's been fantasizing about me for quite some time!

Brown slams the door behind her, her face a light pink now. She races to her vanity and dresser. Her hazel eyes shoot into my reflection. "You broke all my bottles. Creams, perfumes, sprays, everything." She's breathing deeply, her breasts rising a falling. I'm getting quite a nice view from here, with her two shirt buttons open due to the unusually muggy weather we've been getting as of late.

I look down at some sexy gold high heels, skirt shortened to just above the knee, sexy open shirt, and hair piled behind a scarf and trailing down her back. Brown's got a decent pair of legs. I've been a legman myself. I look back up to see her enraged face.

"You're checking me out!" No I'm not. She sighs loudly, slapping a hand to her forehead. "I don't believe this! A cat is checking me out! This is just my day! How'd the hell you get in here anyway?" Yeah, like I can answer that. Not that I would even if I could.

There's something you need to realize about Pansy Irene Parkinson. Her orders are to be obeyed. She says Brown is to look after me, Brown is to look after me. She personally held a 2nd year at wand point, gripping me by the scruff of the neck as far away as possible from her face to get into the Gryffindor common room. She hustled up the stairs to the left and it took us 10 minutes to find Brown's dorm. She throws me into the room and threatens to feed me to lock me in Goyle's closet with all of his Quidditch gear if I scurry back into Slytherin territory with my infesting cat germs. She's quite a violent friend. Dependable but violent.

"…Now Dumbledore's ordered me to look after this thing that I don't even want!" Dumbledore's orders hmm? Never knew that. I wonder how long she's been screeching. I glance over at the clock, not bad. 5 minutes. Pansy beats her hands down though, she's screeched at Blaise and I for 9 hours. Why she was yelling I don't remember. I kept zoning out.

"Listen to me you little mongrel!!" Hey! Easy with the name-calling you twit! Hey! Put me down or experience my wrath! Okay, no more Mr. Nice-guy! I unleash my claws into her wrist, my mouth quickly following.

"Oh shit! Malfoy you asshole!" Brown drops me, sending me falling to the floor. Okay, the height difference is quite vast. How tall is she? 5"6? She's average at least. How come the ground is so far way? I quickly land on my feet. It's quite handy being a cat. Landing on all fours and such. Very cool. Now back to being wrathful. I snap at her ankles.

Brown lifts her foot and slams it millimetres from my cute nose. I glance up at her with annoyance. What the hell is wrong with you Brown? You could've squashed my beautiful face!

"Snap at my ankles again and I'll make sure not to miss Malfoy." Her hands are planted on her hips. Those heels are killers I tell you. "Now you've made me late for class. Not that I was planning on going but it's the principal of the thing." She said the last part more to herself than anyone else. She looks around the room, resigning herself to my mess. "'Mione says_ I'm_ messy."

I smirk. I'm actually what others call a neat freak. I like everything in its place and what's wrong with no dust? Clean surfaces are gold. By the time I'm back to normal, my room is going to be severely dusty and cluttered thanks to the guys. Idiots all of them.

Brown points her wand to the floor, having all clothes rise into the air at her eye level. She glances down at me with a slightly amused smile. "You didn't whiz on anything did you?"

Nope, but she doesn't need to know that.

**Lavender's POV**

You know what my idea of a fun time is? Dressing up in a sexy dress, style my hair, make up my face, and head down to a club with Parvati and dancing to Riana, Madonna, and Britney Spears and eventually hooking up with a sexy guy. Most of my closest friends I've met in clubs.

Instead where am I? In my dorm cleaning up a mess I haven't even made! With Draco Malfoy stretched out on my bed with a self-satisfactory smirk on his stupid face! Now if he weren't a cat and he was stretched out on my bed, I wouldn't mind so much. No, I wouldn't actually jump his bones but it's quite satisfying knowing you can turn the Slytherin sex god on. Pride I tell you. He's not bad on the eyes, but his snarky personality is kind of a deal breaker.

I love magic. Cleaning is so much quicker. I'm sending all my clothes flying in drawers as we speak. Purple top, blue skirt, oh I've been looking for that thong… there's Parvati's halter-top! I thought I'd returned that already. Oops! I purse my lips. I'm missing something. Black. Something black. Panties. Where'd… oh no.

I glance at Draco. "Malfoy, panties. Now." He shook his head, yawning. I stalk to my bed. "Panties, now." He just watches me. I shake my head, eyes narrowing. "If you weren't such a cute cat right now, I'd punch your face in."

"Who're you talking to Lav?" Ginny pokes her head around my door, red curls following. I glance over my shoulder.

"Just giving Draco here a pep talk."

She frowns, closing the door behind her. "You've named a cat after Malfoy? Please don't tell me you've become one of Malfoy's fan girls. Harry will be heart broken." She raises an eyebrow, grinning. I match hers not saying a word. I glance over at Draco to find him… hostile? Hmm, that's new.

Actually, Parvati and I are the ones to start the fan club. Why? Because we could and we did. Watching Harry run like a noodle to avoid us is hilarious. Ambushing his dignity is such fun! I don't actually have a thing for Harry. He's too deep a thinker and has been known to be on the verge of depression at times, that's why he has Ginny who is hopelessly in love with the fool and can make his cloudy days bright and full of sun shiny love! Parvati doesn't like Harry as she prefers Italian boys, you know the hot accents and all.

"I'm just cleaning up the mess this… thing decided to make." I scowl as Ginny laughs. She shakes her head.

"You two should have fun. By the way, Parvati's looking for you. Dinner's in a couple minutes." I glance at the clock 5:54 PM. Thank Merlin! I'm starving! Somehow I missed lunch!

"I'll be down soon. Tell Parvati to save me a seat."

"Sure no problem."

I turn to Draco again, squatting. "How about a truce until after dinner?" He nods before trotting out the open door. I follow, pocketing my wand. I walk towards the staircase to find him eyeing the stairs warily. "You not going down Malfoy? I thought you were hungry." He glares up at me, his tail twitching slowly.

I smile in amusement, scooping him up in my arms. I gently rub his neck as I begin descending the stairs. "Long way down for Sergeant Fuzzyboots." He growls, laying his head on my chest as I walk out the portrait hole. I see Hermione walking between Harry and Ron up ahead.

"Harry darling! Wait for me my love! I'm coming! I'm coming!" I squeal, picking up my pace as I near the Golden Trio, very hard to do in high heels but I have amazing balance. In my arms, Draco's ears flatten and his claws dig into my arm. "Ease up Fuzzball." I mutter. Horrified, Harry picks up his own pace so he's in front of his friends and darts around the corner. Hermione laughs, pulling on Ron's hand to stop while I join them.

"You shouldn't do that to poor Harry. He's going to be smothering Ginny for the rest of the night." I laugh.

"I've never heard any complaining from her!" I find Ron frowning at Draco. His head is currently resting on my right breast. "Ronald, eyes up here." I snap my fingers in front of his face. He blushes a beet red.

"I wasn't looking at you Lavender. Malfoy seems far too comfortable."

"Good thing Dumbles assigned me to look after Malfoy and not you." As a distraction, I quickly tell them my dorm fiasco as we enter the Great Hall.

**Draco's POV**

Damn right Weasel- butt. You wish you were so lucky to get so close to a female, though I suppose you can try to seduce Granger. Good luck with that. Your babies will be hideous. Oh sick! Bad images of nudity! Sick! Sick! Sick! I shudder, earning Brown's arms pushing me closer to her body. She must think I'm getting cold. I breathe in the heavenly smell of food. Yay! Chicken! I love chicken! With gravy!

Wait! Brown! Why are we going to the table of red! Go to green! Green! Yeesh woman! Are you colour blind! I push my paws against my comfy pillow, straining my eyes towards the Slytherin table. You're killing me here!

Brown turns an amused gaze down to me. "If you want to be with the Slytherins, you're not getting fed good food Malfoy. I'm sure Milly will gladly take you to the kitchens to feed you some kitty food. Hmmm, that'll be yummy." Why aren't you in Slytherin again you vile woman? Oh that's right! We'd boot your sorry ass out! So ha! There is no way you're sticking me in Millicent Bulstrode's clutches ever again! I don't want to be locked in a closet! You can't make me!

"Ok, ok! We'll eat with Ravenclaw. Will that suffice your highness?!" I relax the claws, giving a quick nod. Wow, nodding as a cat really… really hurts!

"Hey Luna, Padma." Padma. Okay, this is the other Patil twin. Ravenclaw robe, gotcha. Oh great, Looney Lovegood is watching me.

"Hello Lavender. Hello Draco. How are you two doing?"

"Caught him checking me out so I've come to the conclusion we'll eventually make mad passionate love under the stars by morning once he's restored to normal." In your kinky dreams Brown!!

Lovegood smiles warmly, toying with her bottle cap necklace. "Oh, how nice! I wish the both of you all the happiness in the world." Told you, she's insane!

Padma smirks. "Who woulda thunk it? Malfoy getting horny for our Lavender." Woulda? Thunk? Horny for Lavender Brown? How the hell did you get placed in Ravenclaw you idiot?

"Who's horny for my Lav and why are we sitting over here?" Parvati slides in beside us, confusion on her face. Ok, Parvati Patil has much better skin than Padma Patil. This is how I shall tell them apart.

"Just because you don't eat at your house's table doesn't mean the rest of us can't dearie." Padma bites into her chicken with a vengeance. And girls say we're disgusting when we eat. Phft!

Brown releases me onto her lap as she begins dishing up the yummy foods. "How's that diet working for you girls?" Padma asks around a mouthful of chicken. Oh I'm sorry! I can't understand you with that mouthful of mush being chewed in your wide-open trap! Come on girls! Say it! We all know you're thinking it?

"Oh sister of mine, shut your bloody hole and chew with your mouth closed!" You go Parvati Patil! Brown laughs good-naturedly.

"It's going quite well, though I'll be glad to be done it. The pounds seem to remain the same." Why on earth are you trying to lose weight? Leave the weight losing to Bulstrode and Goyle! They're the ones who can afford to lose a 100!

"You should be happy with your current weight Lavender and be more focused on your studies. A healthy mind is a healthy body." Lovegood munches happily on her peas, grinning as Longbottom sits down… _Longbottom_.

The doodle-duff dumpling has dared to sit across from me! Me! Draco Malfoy whom he cursed into this feline cat form! Oh you are a dead little boy Longbottom. Where's your stupid toad? I'm going to squish him and make you watch his guts come out. Then I'll rub it in your face.

Longbottom kisses Lovegood on the forehead before greeting the rest of the table. "Hey guys! Long day huh?" You don't know the worst of it. I feel Brown's hand rather soothingly stroke my side, munching on a piece of chicken before swallowing.

"Neville, maybe you shouldn't-" Too late for him Brown. I lurch out of her protective arm and leap forward. The idiot isn't going to know what hit him!

**Neville's POV**

"AAAHHHH!!" Cat! Cat! Get the cat off my face! Ow! My eye! Oh it burns! He just clawed me in the frickin eye! Grandma help me!!!!

_Sooo, yeah. There's chapter 5. Hope you enjoyed! I certainly did. Heehee. Review please!_


	6. Chapter 6

Me-OW

_Disclaimer: I still own the world._

Chapter 6

**Lavender's POV**

Sigh. A girl tries to eat a yummy-yummy-in-my-tummy dinner that she'd been daydreaming of since lunch and what happens? McGonnagal boots the girl and her stupid vengeful cat. Doesn't the woman realize I am not at fault here? I'm the victim! I demand a lawyer! Mom should know a good lawyer! She's been sued so many times for her gossip articles.

Memo to self: Write letter to mumsy.

"Merow!"

"Ah shut up Draco. This is all your fault." I purse my lips, glancing down at the pissed off cat nestled in my arms. His head is resting on my elbow, avoiding any accidental glances he might receive of me. Big baby. My tummy growls. "Dobby should be able to rustle up some grub for our poor tummies."

I come up to the kitchen's portrait, tickle the pear, and quickly walk through the hole to the warm kitchens. An elf pops beside me. "Hello there Miss Leader of Mr Potter's stalking girl's fan club! Can Lulu get mistress anything?" I laugh, smiling down at the small elf.

"Yes, some chicken, garden salad, a glass of water, and a bowl of cream please." I'm breaking my vow with the diet. I've lost the pounds I wanted gone. Parvati cheats too, don't worry. Her fixation is gummy worms. She's a sucker for them.

"Right away miss! Lulu shall be right back!"

I set Draco onto the island, pulling myself up on a chair. "Drink all your cream and I'll consider giving you a fresh cookie." Draco looks up at me, sitting tall with his tail swishing back and forth. I grin, ruffling the fur on his head. He doesn't like that much if the extension of his claws mean anything.

"Here is miss's dinner! Can Lulu get you or your little kitty anything else?"

I shake my head, cutting up my chicken. "Sergeant Fuzzyboots and I are fine now Lulu. Tell Dobby I said hello." I'm going to pay for calling him that. Heehee, I love being evil.

"Very well miss!" She disappears with a pop.

"Drink up Malfoy. Or no cookie for you." I lift my fork only to have him yank the chicken from my fork and devour it. Ok, he's not after a cookie. He's after solid meat. "Did Milly really only feed you cat food and milk?" Boy, she's screwed if the performance of Neville's face is just Draco warming up! I quickly rip half my chicken into shreds before setting it in front of him.

Draco inhales the chicken like a starved kitten. If he was a real cat, I'd be so sad! But I'm not. Licking his chops, Draco turns towards his cream. We eat in companionable silence.

And yes, I gave him a cookie.

**Draco's POV**

Chicken isn't real meat but it's as close I'm going to get tonight. The cream's pretty good too.

Brown had better have a litter box for me. Bulstrode didn't think of that and I left a little something for her in her sock drawer.

I rest my head against Brown's breast, listening to her heartbeat as she carries me to Gryffindor Tower. Her sweater's soft, a comfy pillow. Brown doesn't walk at a sea sickening pace like Bulstrode always did. It's nice. She's humming to herself a song I don't recognize as she steps through the fat lady's portrait.

There are a few 6th years around the fire working on homework, heads down, and quills scribbling away. Finnigan comes over to us with a smirk on his face. "You actually brought that thing in here? I'm shocked Lavvy." She shrugs her shoulders, her humming ceased. Hmmm, I could carve his face…

"What's with the smile Seamus?" She sounds resigned.

Finnigan leans against the wall, his smirk wider. "I was thinking you and I going to an empty corridor closet and screwing each other's brains out." His finger trails down her arm, lust glowing brightly in his beady little eyes.

Sheesh. That is the worst pick-up line I've ever heard in my life! Goyle comes up with better lines than that!

Brown scoffs. "As appealing as that offer is Finnigan, I've got homework and I don't know" She strokes my head while she ponders, "I have a life." She leans in close so she's whispering in Finnigan's ear. "I know many people will tell you otherwise dear, but size _does_ matter."

Oooooooo, that's my girl! Hit 'em where it hurts! I rest my head right under her chin, purring my approval as she climbs the stairs. She strokes the side of my neck, sighing softly.

* * *

"Seamus has been looking for you again Lavender. Did you run into him downstairs?" Patil asks, sprawled in a chair, not looking up from her textbook. Lavender sets me down on the floor.

"Yeah, offered a quick rut in a closet somewhere. I turned down his offer."

Patil smiles, scribbling notes on parchment. "Good girl."

Darn right! I trot to the open bathroom, peeking in. Ah, good girl is right. She's remembered my litter box. I quickly finish my business before returning to the room. Lavender's on her stomach among thousands of quilts, her focus completely to her homework. Hey! You're supposed to be looking after me! It's been half a day and already you're neglecting me!! Are you listening to me? Sigh, no of course you aren't. You're too busy doing homework!!!!!

_Women._

I trot over to the bed. I attempt to leap to the bed to only reach half way and I have to claw my way up. Lavender's got her books out and quill over parchment. I wobble over the mountains of quilts to her homework, sitting on her textbook.

"Move your fat bum away Malfoy. Some of us have homework due tomorrow."

No. Nobody tells a Malfoy to go away! I want attention darn it! Walking over all her parchments, I dip under her chin so I'm sprawled out of her line of vision between her chin and the bed. It's very cozy here. Lavender scoffs before a hand snuggles me closer under her chin, stroking fingers over my fur. "People call me an attention seeker."

This is more like it. I allow myself to purr as Lavender's attention reverts to Transfiguration. That assignment was given out last week! Looks like we have a procrastinator amongst ourselves.

**Lavender's POV**

Draco hasn't stopped watching me since Parvati left. He just sits there, his tail twitching and green/grey eyes boring into my skull as I attempt to finish Charms. I've already tried my radio for any good songs. They're all oldies tonight so the dorm is an uncomfortable silence. I hate silences.

"Quit staring Draco. It's not polite." He ignores me, continuing to keep right on staring at me. It feels like two eyeballs are staring into my minds, my soul, picking things apart. It's very creepy. "Knock it off Draco. Go sleep in a corner or something." I shove my books into a bag, giving up on doing anything else tonight. I lie down on my back, closing my eyes.

A weight settles between my breasts. I'm not going to open my eyes. I'm not going to open my eyes. He's watching me, I can tell. Everything has to be about him! I'm not going to open my eyes. Damn it, right eye don't you dare! Don't even think it! Don't you dare open or so help me… Damn it! You opened! Now he's smirking! Damn you right eye! I hate you! My left eye is my new favourite eye! You have officially been disowned. That's right. I'll seek your replacement in the morning! Boy, betcha you're sorry now!

…

It's ok, I accept your apology. I won't replace you.

"You're a persistent little bugger aren't you?" Draco purrs in approval, his nails digging. "Sheath the claws Malfoy. Flesh is very sensitive you know." If cats could chuckle, he'd be doing it right now.

"Go away! I've already danced attendance to you today." I sit up, hoisting him onto my quilts. I get cold at night. Really easily. I'm going to get ready for bed. Walking over to my drawers, I pull out a tank top and yellow silk pants. Mumsy sent these in the mail last week. They're my favourite.

I unravel the scarf from my hair and slip into the bathroom. I quickly wash my face, ridding myself of all makeup. I love brushing my teeth. First I do the top and then the bottom. I spit, rinse, and gurgle mouthwash. Then I floss, down first and then top, then I brush again, spit again, rinse again, and gurgle mouthwash again. I've made this a habit ever since Mumsy read me Sleeping Beauty. I never want my prince charming to come and kiss me only to find I have really bad breath or my teeth not as white as they should be! Every girl should be prepared!

Aaaahhh, sparkling clean teeth! I wiggle into my yellow silk pants and whip my top off only to get my head stuck in it. Now, I'm a graceful child, but it's hard to be graceful when attempting to escape from an evil shirt that insists on holding my lovely head full of knowledge hostage!

"Eek!" I slam into the wall as I finally have my head coming popping up. I give my head a shake. Whew! That's enough excitement for one night. I chuck the shirt on the floor and stretch. It's been a pretty long day and my comfy quilted bed awaits me. I love my bed, it's so soft and squishy and it's purring and-

Oh shit! I make a dive under the covers. Heehee, forgot to put my tank top on and am stretching in my bra for Malfoy. That's just great. Juuuuuuusssssssstttttt great!

**Draco's POV**

Life is pretty good right now. I was right in one sense. Lavender Brown does not need to lose any more weight. She is pppeeerrrfffeeecccttt! Curvy in all the right places! Now hazel glaring eyes and a pointed nose are peeking out at me behind the covers.

"Turn around Malfoy. Now!" Okay okay! Miss Bossypants! I avert my gaze to Brown's lovely mirror, which shows a lovely reflection of her movements as she quickly strips from her bra and yanks on a white tank top. I love my sneaky ways. She sighs in satisfaction. "You can turn around now." She throws her bra to the side before lifting me up.

Oh no! If you think I'm going to sleep on the floor! You've got-

She tucks me into her side, snuggling under the quilts.

Oh, well then. That's better than a stupid basket. Her hand warmly strokes my side. "You're like a heater Malfoy." And you're freezing Brown! Holy crap! No wonder you have so many quilts, anyone else would suffocate under this intense heat! At night I'm always warm. Even in winter I sleep in my boxers with just a light blanket. Everyone thinks I'm cold. I'm cold- hearted certainly, but my body temperature is something else.

Every girl I've ever had sex with has mentioned my body heat. Apparently it's quite uncomfortable and they end up leaving right after sex. Not that I mind. I like having the bed to myself and I'm not much of a cuddler. Bedding a girl is a simple release for the both of us, cuddling doesn't do anything. Only sissy boys cuddle, like Weasley and Potter. Though I will speak to Finnigan about the proper respect needed towards females. The way he approached Brown tonight is just disgusting. Gives us guys a bad wrap.

Memo to self: Beat the living shit out of Finnigan.

Lavender snuggles into her pillow. Raising her hands, she claps the lights off. I lurch at this. I want clapping lights! Lavender laughs at my raised head. "Pretty cool huh? Parvati and Greg helped me install them."

Very cool. Not that I'm all impressed. I raise my nose up in the air, feinting boredom. She laughs softly, pulling me against her again. "Good night Sergeant Fuzzyboots."

We're going to have a talk about this Sergeant Fuzzyboots nonsense once my voice is restored missy.

**Lavender's POV**

Hmmm. Come back my lovely cucumber sandwiches! Come back! Come back-huh? Wow, my feet are freezing! Though my neck is roasty toasty. Why is that? I turn my head slightly to find Draco's furry warm body nestled deep into my neck. Wow, I have a scarf. He's so soft! And no rose smells! Yay! At the movement of my neck, Draco snuggles his head closer to my skin, grunting softly. Ahh, how cute! I smile warmly. I think I like Friday mornings. Straining my arm, I can just make out the time, 5:30 AM… I have another half hour before I need to jump into the shower. It takes me almost an hour to wash, blow dry, and style my hair, than another hour or so to get dressed and do my make up. I like to take things at a steady pace in the morning. Not too fast not too slow, but accurately. I let myself doze off for the next 30 minutes.

**Draco's POV**

_"Shut up and put your money where your mouth is_

_That's what you get for waking up in Vegas!_

_Shut up and put-"_

What is that infernal noise? I shall smash it to pieces and sprinkle the remains in the lake!

_Smack._

Ahhh, much better… Hey _hey_! What are you doing Brown! I'm still trying to sleep here! Why do you keep moving? Why are you sitting up now? I bury my head into her neck, seeking that comfortable cool warmth. I was sleeping woman! What time is-

I feel like hitting somebody. It's 6:00 AM!!! As in 6:00 in the morning! I don't get up until 7:10 AM! Breakfast is at 8:00 AM so why are we up so bloody early!

"Ahhh, is someone grumpy?" There's no reason to be amused Brown. This is not amusing in the slightest.

"You go back to sleep Sergeant Grumpy Fuzzyboots. I need a shower." She pulls me away from her soft neck and places me on her pillow. I blearily watch her close the door from her head indented pillow. I don't like it. It's too warm. I try sleeping. I bury my head under my paws, roll over to my side, than my other side, and finally attempting on my back with my feet in the air. Not working here… Give me back your neck Brown! I slump into the pillow, listening to water running.

I need to take a leak. Stretching my back and flexing my legs, I stumble off the bed with a plop and walk towards the bathroom. Pushing the door open with my head, I sneak in. The room is all steamy from Lavender's shower. I quickly do my business and leap onto the closed toilet seat to listen to her movements behind the curtain. Then she starts singing;

"We were both young when I first saw you, I close my eyes and the flashback starts, I'm standing there. On a balcony in summer air." _Taylor Swift_ I believe. Pansy listens to her all the time. Lavender's not much of a singer, a little off tune but it's not horrible…

"See the lights. See the party, the ball gowns, I see you make your way through the crowd and say hello, little did I know." Okay so she sucks but she's enjoying herself… ok, I'm out of here, I can't stand it anymore. I sneak out of the bathroom and prance to the window, leaping onto the sill to look out.

15 minutes later, Lavender comes out in a short towel, humming _Love Story_ as she pulls out tops and skirts to spread across the bed. She's changed the school uniform in so many ways. The shirt has been changed to no sleeves, long sleeves, off the shoulder, halter top, etc and the skirts all different lengths and different coloured edgings. Not bad. She smiles brightly at me. "You still grumpy Sergeant Fuzzyboots?"

Yes. I don't like waking up early. I'm taking a catnap against her neck at the first opportunity.

_This is one of my longest chapters yet! I had fun with this! :) Review please!_


	7. Chapter 7

Me-OW

_Disclaimer: I rule the world and no one shall dethrone me. Muhahaha._

Chapter 7

**Draco's POV**

Whoa! Brown! What are you doing with that? Put that bottle of shampoo down! Oh no! I'm not getting into this with you! Forget it you raving psycho woman! You come near me with that thing I shall wreak my wrath upon your knuckle! I swear it!

"Come on Malfoy! You need a bath! I'm not going to use scented rose soap on you. I'm not cruel." Suuuuuure you're not. Lies I tell you! All lies! You don't actually expect a Slytherin to believe a Gryffindor do you? Aaaahhhh! Who knew her arms could bend like that? I'm currently under her bed fending off groping fingers. Who knew Lavender Brown has been desperate to get her hands on me?

Ah no! She's got me! I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die!

Lavender huffs strands of hair out of her face, her cheeks pink and hazel eyes more green than… well hazel and filled with wildness. "That's it Malfoy. You come out now or I'll _Stupefy_ you throughout the process."

Humiliation or death in bath? Hmmm…

**Lavender's POV**

Draco pulls himself out from under my bed before stalking over to the large water basin I brought up. I roll my sleeves, manually pouring warm water into the basin. I dip my baby finger to test temperature. Pretty warm. Shouldn't scald him at all. Draco growls at the back of his throat as I lift him up and put him the water.

He freezes, looking down at the water that just reaches his knees and then back at me. He looks pretty surprised. Wonder what Bulstrode did that was so horrible, outside of the rose soap. I squeeze some shampoo onto my hands to see him flinch away from me. I smile gently, stroking the shampoo on his back. "Don't worry. It's tear-free Lore ale Kids shampoo. It won't sting if it gets in your eyes." I massage the shampoo into his fur, working it under his belly, legs, and his head. I hear him softly purring. Wow, for once he seems perfectly happy.

**Draco's POV**

On her muggle rabeeo, a rock song came on. Lavender starts singing with the male singer. Her voice sounds not as bad when she's not singing solo.

" I was blown away, what could I say? It all seemed to make sense. You're taking away everything and I can't do without. I try to see the good in life but good things in life are hard to find. We're blowing way, blowing away can we make this something good?"

Mind you, her voice still sucks.

"Well, I'll try to do it right this time around, let's start over. I'll try to do it right this time around, it's not over. 'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground. This love is killing me but you're the only one, it is not over." Lavender pauses in her singing to glance down at me. "See Draco? Baths aren't so bad."

Bah, you're just good at giving massages. This shampoo smells like strawberry! How degrading, I smell like strawberries.

**Lavender's POV**

I make sure all shampoo and conditioner is gone from Draco's fur before lifting him out of the basin and wrapping a fuzzy green towel around him. Like I do with babies, I rock side-to-side, rubbing a hand vigorously up and down his back and sides. Draco wiggles his head back and forth. I do believe he's trying to get to my neck… Oh!

I lift him so he's snuggled into my neck and shoulder. I think Draco has a neck fetish. Then again, all cats like resting on a person's shoulder s go figure. I continue rubbing warmth into his shivering back while rocking gently side to side.

"Motherhood suits you Lav." I look up to see Parvati settling onto my bed, a wicked gleam in her brown eyes.

"Thanks Parvati." I say sarcastically, hearing Draco make a grunting sound of agreement. "What's going through that Ravenclaw mind of yours?"

She grins, running her fingers through her hair. "Oh nothing. I've just noticed you've been paying more attention to your pet there than Dean Thomas." Dean?

I frown. "What about Dean?" He and I've gone out a couple of times. We're not close friends or anything so I don't…

"He's been trying to chat you up for the last few days. You know, after Transfiruation, D.A.D.A, Astrology, etc." I bite my lip as I concentrate. Parvati's right. He's been flirting quite shamelessly with me.

"Isn't he with Cho?"

Parvati rolls her eyes. "No. Turns out they're Potion partners but that's it." Oh.

"I've never noticed." I really haven't. Now I feel bad. Dean's really nice.

"How can you? Malfoy has been taking up all your time!" Hey! That is not true!

"That's a bit exaggerating even for you Parvati. He does not take up all my time…"

"No?" She stretches onto her feet. "You've been dieting the diet, eating smaller amounts during meals so you can make sure he has enough to eat, you bring him to study sessions with the girls, you pack him around everywhere you go outside of the ladies room, and you haven't brought up the upcoming Hogsmeade trip once this week!" She pouts, folding her arms under her chest. "Your whole world revolves around Draco Malfoy. If I didn't know better I'd say you've fallen for him."

Me? Fall for Malfoy? Oh sick! That's disgusting! That's like… Snape and Neville Longbottom getting it on! That's like Goyle and Pansy getting it on! It's not going to happen! Eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Horrible mental images! Thanks a lot for that horrible image Parvati! Snape… shudder… shudder.

"Are those shivers of anticipation Lav?"

"Oh shut up Parvati. My shudders are shudders of revulsion." Great, now I'm crabby.

**Parvati's POV**

Hmmm, looks like I struck a nerve. Interesting. My spidey- senses are tingling.

* * *

**Draco's POV**

I love bacon. Bacon makes a boy a man. How girls cannot eat bacon is beyond my understanding. Insane they all are. We're all sitting at the tables as owls fly over our heads dropping off mail. A colourfully wrapped box lands beside Lavender. She coos at the owl before the speckled feathered monster flies away. She grins.

"Mumsy has sent more recipes!" Lovegood beams at her.

"That is so nice of her to do that." Lavender grins at Lovegood. Behind Lavender, Zabini taps her shoulder.

"Apparently, I'm the messenger being sent over to deliver Draco's mail." He bemusedly hands her a thin white envelope.

Lavender grins at him. "Thanks mail boy. You expecting a tip?"

He nods, his smile broadening. "Actually I am."

Lavender nods. "Ok, I've got one. Don't eat yellow snow." That's pretty sound advice if you ask me. Blaise rolls his eyes as he retreats back to the Slytherin table.

Lavender tucks the letter into her bag before rising from her seat. "We'll see you guys later. Malfoy and I are headed to the library for some serious studying."

"You put off studying for the Charms exam didn't you?"

"Maybe."

Procrastinator.

* * *

_Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._

I've never known how friggin annoying a tapping pencil could be.

_Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._

It's an echo inside my brain.

_Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._

One more tap and I swear- _Tap._ That's it.

_Yoink._

Blech. I don't understand how students can chew on quills, they have a nasty flavour. "Hey! Malfoy what the heck?" Lavender looks up at me in surprise. Her face is flushed and by the wildness in her eyes, she hasn't been able to memorize any information from the stupid textbook. You don't even need a pencil Brown!

Lavender taps her manicured nails against the table. "If you're so bored, go wander around and annoy someone else." Already have, twice! There's not a lot of people to annoy around here. It's a Saturday for crying out loud! Let's go do something! Outside! There's lots to do outside! Come on! You've been reading for an hour and you're not getting any smarter!

She goes back to reading, this time tapping her nails. Fine ignore me. See if I care.

I must find a way to amuse myself. I look around. Books, books, floor, more books…bag! I leap onto the floor and poke my head into the jumbled bag. This girl is not organized in the least. Let's see what we've got here…

Lip gloss, mirror, brush, wrinkled notes, tampax (oh sick), camera, ooo my mail! I'd forgotten all about this! I snatch the crisp envelope with my mouth and tug. Lavender happens to glance down at me as I'm doing this.

"Get outta my bag Malfoy." She lifts me by the stomach, efficiently pulling the letter out with me. Good girl. She frowns at the paper in my mouth. "Oh right, I'd forgotten all about this." She takes if from my mouth and gently tears it open and pulls the letter out. She'd better not think about reading it. Brown is too nosy for her own good…

She sets the letter down in front of me before returning to her textbooks.

This is different. No demands to read my letter? Not looking for any gossip? Lavender doesn't bother to raise her head from her books. "Read it Malfoy or I'll be over- ridden by my curiosity to read it." Okay, conscience over curiosity… I'd better be quick. I glance down at my mother's spidery writing.

_Draco,_

_Professor Dumbledore has told be what has become of you. I am most surprised you've been outmanoeuvred by a Longbottom. Highly unlike you._

I growl softly. No Longbottom shall ever outmanoeuvre a Malfoy. Never. I just need to return to my normal form and he'll be as good as beat. I read on as Mom tells me of her health and the states the house and grounds are in, a little bit about the family, etc.

_I expect you are remembering to eat your vegetables. Meat won't get you far without your vegetables._

_Mother._

Vegetables. Yuck.

I lay a paw on Lavender's arm. She's practically become dopey as she's staring at the textbook. She glances up with bleary eyes at me before gazing at the letter. "You want me to write back and tell her you're ok?" I pause. Should I?….. Okay. I nod. She smiles, rubbing my head before pulling out a fresh sheet of parchment, quill poised as she scans Mother's letter. She laughs when she reads about vegetables.

* * *

**Narcissa's POV**

"A letter has arrived for Madam!" Rinny sets the envelope by my plate before disappearing. I glance down at it to see it's from Draco. Isn't he supposed to be in feline form? I frown lightly.

_Dear Mrs. Malfoy,_

_My name is Lavender Brown and I've been entrusted to look after Draco while he's…_

Interesting. Brown. Francine Brown works as a gossip columnist. This must be her daughter.

* * *

_Review dearies!_


	8. Chapter 8

Me-OW

_Disclaimer: I just got back from camping with friends. Lots of sunshine and no bugs!! :)_

Chapter 8

**Draco's POV**

"Yes, did you see the way he was watching her? You can tell he's crushing after her."

"Well it's about time. She been pining after him since 5th year!"

"No, he hated her then."

"Sigh, no he hated her sister and she misunderstood the situation! He was also dating her cousin at the time."

"I still don't get what she sees in a guy like that."

I'm in the middle of a hen's party. Lavender has Parvati and Ginny up here giving manicures and pedicures. They're sitting in this triangle on the floor, each of them doing another's foot/hand and sharing gossip. I'm sitting on the bed listening to the rabdeeo. I've discovered I'm not a country fan. Jazz is more my style.

"Well that's not what Hermione said."

Ginny tosses her hair to the side, her concentration focused on Parvati's nails. "Ron never says the right thing. Thank Merlin I have Harry who's a bit more sensitive to my needs."

"You mean is completely whipped and is only slightly needy?" Parvati got her leg smacked. She should be aware of the Weasel's hexes. Her Bat Bogey hex still gives me nightmares.

"Harry is a sensitive, sweet, caring, and deep Parvati!" Oh good grief! He's not that amazing! No guy is! Unless he's gay.

"He's also not bad on the eyes." Lavender wiggles her eyebrows, trimming Ginny's big toe nail.

The girls laugh before discussing the latest development between England's newest bachelor or something. I am amusing myself by digging through Lavender's drawers. You know, going through her underwear, going through all her make up stuff, knocking things over, you know that kind of fun.

"Draco, drag your butt over here. We need to trim your nails."

Parvati raises her eyebrows. "Just trim his nails? Lavender darling, he needs an entire make over. You've kept him clean but hardly groomed."

"What can I say? He hates bathes and the last one I gave him, I had to drag him out from under my bed. It's dusty under there." I look down at my paws, flexing my nails. Yeah I'm not going to lie, they are pretty long and… not very clean. But I refuse to lick myself clean. I don't care about cleanliness if that means using my tongue along my body. That's just… shudder shudder. I refuse. And I don't trust you ninnies so don't plan on having an easy go of it.

"Malfoy, you've got 10 seconds to drag your ass over here before I decide Mom needs to knit you a jumper in the hideous red we all know you hate." Molly Weasley's homemade jumpers are legendary among the school. They're all knatted and of the most hideous burgundy and are not even good for the rags the house elves to dust with. I do not like being blackmailed. Especially by a Weasley.

Holding my head and tail high, I saunter over to the girls and plop down in the middle of the triangle. Lavender immediately starts combing my hair out and using cleanser while Weasley and Patil get to work on my nails. Hmmm… three girls cooing and pampering me… I could get used to this.

* * *

**Hermione's POV**

Harry, Ron, and I glance up as the portrait hole opens. Lavender and Parvati poke their heads in cheerfully. "How'd you get the password?"

Ginny rolls her eyes. "Ding- dong Voldy's dead isn't much of a password 'Mione."

Harry and I thought it was original. He and I shrug at each other. I glance down at the cat in Lavender's arms. Malfoy's… shiny. "Why is Malfoy so… shiny?"

Parvati grins. "That's the conditioner cleanser. Long lasting smooth and silky tresses or in his case fur."

Lavender walks over to Ron's chair and plops down beside him. Much to his annoyance. "We gave him a manicure and pedicure. He is fabulous now." She frowns at Ron, pushing him out of the chair and letting him land in a heap on the floor. She wiggles more comfortably into a chair. "Much better."

"I'm ok, thanks for asking." Ron glowers on the floor, rubbing his head.

"We could do the same for Crookshanks." Ginny says, snuggled in Harry's lap. I shake my head.

"You couldn't pin him down for such torture. He's too squirmy."

"So we'll _Stupefy_ him. It'll be no problem." No. No. No. No. No.

"I think her glower means no Ginny." Ya think?

Speak of the devil.

**Lavender's POV**

This chair is way comfier without Ronald. I like this chair. From now on, this shall be my chair when I come to visit. Or I could just steal it.

Hermione's mangy cat Crookshanks decides to make an entrance in the Head's common room. He looks like he just escaped from the sewer and smells like it too. Draco tenses in my arms before leaping gracefully onto the floor. He stalks towards Crookshanks, sizing him up. While Draco may be faster than Crookshanks, the mangy feline has at least 20 pounds on him. We're also on his territory.

The two cats sniff each other before Draco gives a soft grunt and stalks back to me. He leaps on the arm of the chair and gracefully relaxes. I smirk, stroking his head and back as Crookshanks claws his own way to his mistress. Hermione cuddles him under her chin.

"It's ok baby, you don't have to see him ever again."

I grin.

"I can see these two are going to be the best of friends." Sarcasm is a beautiful thing is it not? Draco leans into my hand as I stroke a sensitive spot. Everyone has a weakness. Heeheeheeheehee.

**Ron's POV**

Lavender's such a pushy person. I want my chair back.

* * *

**Draco's POV**

The ice queen has brought out the big guns. Two brand new quilts have made it to the bed. How did they get there? I don't know. Now there are eight quilts on the bed. If Lavender keeps this up, I'm moving Parvati's dorm. She won't go insane with quilts! Then again, she snores. She stayed over a few nights ago and I swear that woman can pack a snore that overrules Hagrid's. I hardly got any sleep that night.

I cock my head to the side at the sound of splashing and light humming. I smell the air. Hmmm. Me smells bubble bath.

Should I stay away?

Probably.

Will I?

No.

I poke my head around the door. Lavender's relaxing in the large tub. Her hair is piled on top of her head and bubbles rest just under her chin. Her eyes are closed and there's a content smile on her face. I lightly walk across the tile and leap onto the toilet seat, getting quite a view of her torso. Lavender crosses a leg, sighing deeply. Her eyes are sleepy as she blinks them open. She sees me now. Haha, her eyes are wide now and if possible she's sunken deeper into the bubbles. Any lower and she'll be drowning in the bubbles. I smirk as a blush colours her cheeks.

"Draco! What are you doing? Get outta here!" Yeah, like I'm going to miss this show.

Na-uh.

Lavender presses her lips together. "Get out Malfoy. I don't disturb you when you want privacy!" Yeah right! I'm rarely left alone nowadays, not that I want to be alone but I never am. I slide to the floor and leap onto the rim of the tub.

I can't believe she actually thinks I would leave. I'm a human being for crying out loud, or at least I usually am. My hormones are not going to allow me to leave. Noble homosexual guys like Potter or Weasley would, but I'm a sexually aroused male. No way am I going to miss my fill. The bubbles have to thin out sometime…

"Do you want me to drown that smirk off your furry face Malfoy?" A light smirk is on her face, her blush receding. I flick my tail from side to side. If she did something like that, she'd have to be the one to tell Mother. She'd never survive the experience. At least not with all her body parts still intact.

Lavender checks the bubbles are covering her before relaxing again. "Malfoy trying to get some from a Gryffindor. Poor boy, you mustn't have been getting any recently."

Hey! I get lots! Girls throw themselves at me 24/7. I get plenty.

For the next ½ hour, I watch Lavender as she hums. She's actually quite attractive. A nice square face and large hazel eyes that I can never tell if they're more blue or green. Lavender sits up, the bubbles clinging to her exposed flesh. I catch a bit of chest before she wraps a towel around her body. Drats, that girl is fast. She rubs my head good naturedly as the water drains away. She smells nice, a faint soap.

Lavender lifts me off the tub and walks out barefoot to the bed. Setting me down, she quickly walks back to the steamy bathroom with PJs in hand. 15 minutes later she pads over to the bed, clapping the lights off and snuggling into the many dozen quilts. I wiggle against her neck, finding her cool skin easily under the smothering materials of doom.

Lavender rests a hand on my back, sighing softly. "Night Draco."

Night Lavender.

**Ginny's POV**

Parvati sticks her head in my dormitory, quickly scanning my roommates before finding me. "She steal all your blankets too?"

I nod, grimacing at my sheet. "She's cleaned this place out."

* * *

**Draco's POV**

"I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date…." Lavender's racing around the room, hangers of clothes in both hands. She picks up a dark forest green sweater. "Does this look okay?" She presses the sweater against her body, glancing at the mirror and myself.

Yes yes, you look fine. Now let's go!!!!!!!!!!

We've woken up later than usual and now we're probably going to be late for the Quidditch match against Slytherin and Hufflepuff if Lavender Brown doesn't hurry up her ass and get dressed. Under different circumstances I'd enjoy seeing Brown run around in her knickers but right now I'm furious. This is the first game Slytherin is playing without me and I'm getting crabby.

"Okay, I'm ready. Let's go." Lavender scoops me up after dressing in said sweater and a pair of muggle jeans and rushes out the door. Oh I hate feeling seasick!

"What'd I miss? What'd I miss?" Lavender throws herself down beside Parvati and Pansy, her huffing and puffing against my head.

What'd I miss?

Tell me or _die_ under my sharp manicured claws!

"Just the first 3 minutes. You sleep in?"

"Yeah. The alarm never went off." Actually, I pressed the off button on that stupid radio. I wanted to sleep past 7: 00 AM today, as it is a Saturday. I need my beauty sleep. Pansy sneezes, shooting death glares at me.

"You're lucky Millicent is in the sky or I'd hand you over to her." Boy is she in a crabby mood today. Darn it! I can't see!

**Lavender's POV**

I hate being rushed in the mornings. I also don't like wearing green during fall, it makes me look pale. I only wear green during the summer when I'm dark. Pansy warned me that showing up on the Slytherin side in anything but green is life threatening. Waking up 4 hours later than usual has thrown my style completely. My hair is in a high ponytail and I have no idea if there are any bumps on my head. Draco is a very impatient little kitty.

Draco huffs on my lap before scurrying up my arm to my shoulders, showing no mercy in his claws. I grimace as he settles around my neck like a fur collar. His claws knead my shoulders as the game continues.

Parvati and I have decided that since we're sitting in the Slytherin stands, we are going to cheer _very very very_ loudly every time Hufflepuff scores some points. There is no way in hell we're cheering for Slytherins. Ooo someone on Hufflepoofs just scored!

"GO HUFFLEPUFFS!!!!!!!!!!"

Parvati and I leap to our feet, cheering and waving our arms as Slytherins carry a round of booing. Slytherins quickly rebound and wrack up another 20 points within seconds. Parvati and I shout over Slytherin cheering;

"THAT'S ALRIGHT, THAT'S OKAY, YOU'RE GOING TO BEAT 'EM ANYWAY! GO HUFFLEPUFFS! YAAAAAAAYYYY!!!" I love cheerleading!

Pansy slaps Parvati upside the head and reaches over her to do the same to me. Draco digs his claws into my shoulders, hissing in my ear. I rub my head with one hand and ease his talons out of my sensitive flesh with the other. "Spoil sports."

* * *

_There we go! The 8th chapter. Review my pretties!_


	9. Chapter 9

Me-OW

_Disclaimer: Wow, I am astounded by all these reviews for my last chapter. Thank you to L'. and my ever-wonderful reviewer, Purpleabsofsteel! I think maybe 1 or 2 more chapters and I'll be finished this story!_

_I own the plot and the world. JK owns everything else._

Chapter 9

**Draco's POV**

After that embarrassing display of insanity during the Quidditch game, Slytherin won by a mile, Brown and Patil were in my bad books.

"Ow! What the hell is that? Oh no! Brown, get those pluckers away from me!"

Now they're in my you're forgiven for now books.

"Oh quit being such a baby 'Mione. By the time we're through with you, Ronald Weasley will not be able to eat a thing after getting an eyeball of you."

"Somehow I highly doubt that! Nothing stops Ron from eating when he's hungry- Ow! Lavender! I like my eyebrows! Parvati, where do you think you're putting that wax?"

I'm sprawled on Lavender's windowsill, listening to Granger screech behind the bathroom door as the two beauty queens attack her face for her big date with Weasel. Apparently the two of them were sneaking out for a trip to Hogsmeade. Weaselette brushes by me with a top and jean skirt.

"She ready yet!" The red head bellows as she strolls into the bathroom. She closes the door as a screech of terror echoes throughout the dorm. I purr. Hearing Granger distress sends a warm fuzzy feeling deep into my bones

Parvati walks out of the bathroom 20 minutes later with a paternal smile. She turns to me. "I present to you the new and fabulously improved Hermione Jane Granger." I turn to see the 18 year old walk out. I feel my eyes widen. She doesn't look half bad.

She wore a baby blue bust hugging sleeveless shirt and a thigh length jean skirt. Her massive bush is pulled into a side ponytail, falling in smooth ringlets. Lavender must've been working on her hair. Her nails are manicured, her eyebrows thinned and finally even, her brown eyes are enlargened with mascara and dark eye shadow. Silver hoops adorn her ears and left wrist. On her feet are simple black ballet shoes, we can't expect Granger to be coordinated enough for big girl high heels.

Lavender and Weaselette clap their hands proudly as Granger twirls. She smiles shyly. This is definitely a first.

"If my dolt of a brother does not bow down before you tonight in worship, I'll personally Bat Bogey him. Then I'll turn him over to Fred and George to play with." Lavender makes shooing motions with her hands.

"Get going 'Mione. Don't want to be too late."

Granger pales. "I'm late?" She rushes to the door only to have Parvati grip her arm tightly.

"Walk at a dignified pace girl! Strut down the hall, do not gallop or all our hard work will be for nothing." Parvati rolls her eyes as Granger nods before leaving at a much slower pace. "By the time she gets there, Ronald'll be 100."

* * *

I love the smell of fresh chocolate chip cookies. Lavender is making them for herself and Parvati for completing their diet together. Cheats and all.

"Harry and Ginny seem to be going strong." Parvati says, biting into a warm cookie. Lavender breaks off a piece for me, leaving me the piece with the most chocolates… I'm not touched. Malfoys are never touched by other people's actions. Nope. Good try but no cigar.

"At least she's not mooning over him anymore. That valentine she sent him in what… 2nd year?… was just atrocious. She can't be so transparent." No she shouldn't be. We guys like a slight challenge.

Mmmm… I love chocolate chip cookies. Yum yum yum.

"So when you're a human again, are you still going to be a self absorbent prick?" Parvati asks.

Of course! I'll just be around more often when Lavender's making cookies. House elves never put enough chocolate in cookies. not all of us are worried about our weight!

"It'll be weird not having Sergeant Fuzzyboots to keep my neck warm at night." Lavender grins when I growl softly. Sergeant Fuzzyboots might decide to sleep elsewhere if you keep this up Brown.

"I want my blankets back Lav. My bed is so… lonely without my four blankets."

"But I freeze at night. You know that!" It's true. She's always cold. Always always. A cat can only do so much.

**Lavender's POV**

I'm not going to miss Draco once he's restored to his human form. We've only been together for two weeks. That's nothing.

I munch on a cookie, watching Draco mess around with the chocolate in his paws. I smile. He's a self-absorbent guy who's never kept a long-term girl friend. There's a chance we'll be friends or good acquaintances. He and I are like tight. Tight like stringy pieces of liquorice. We're as tight as Ron and Hermione smooching. We're tight.

I rise to my feet.

"I'm heading up for bed. Do you mind bringing Sergeant Fuzzyboots when you're both done Parvati?" She nods quickly.

"Sure thing. Sweet dreams." I nod and quickly leave. With him out of the way, I can finally have my privacy back. It'll be nice.

**Draco's POV**

I glance up from my messy cookie to find Parvati's dark brown eyes piercing into my skull, poking through my mind. Get outta my head Patil! Leave a guy to eat his cookie will you?

"Draco," Parvati hoists me to her eye level, leaving my cookie unfinished. Her face is dead serious. "You hurt Lavender after all this and I swear I'll poke your eyeballs out and roast them in a fire like a marshmallow." Woa! Stay away from my eyeballs woman!! These babies are my parent's eyeballs. Mom would flip at you for taking her baby's eyes.

What are you talking about Parvati? Lavender and I are frie- well I'm not sure what you'd call us but we're close. How would I hurt her?

Parvati watches my face momentarily before scooping me up and walking out of the kitchen, leaving my cookie to remain uneaten. Damn.

* * *

I do not like Charms. Homework in that class is going to kill me. Lavender hums as we walk the halls. Damn her humming, being a cheerful person. You'd never make it in Slytherin. Slytherins need to be broody sometimes.

"Lavender, wait up!" Bug off Longbottom. I'll rip your eyeballs and have Parvati roast them into marshmallows. I hiss as he glanced down at me. Lavender sighs.

"I wouldn't stick around Neville. Sergeant Fuzzyboots is in a grumpy mood today." No, I'm hungry. When hungry I'm crabby. And I'm not Sergeant Fuzzyboots!

"I just wanted to know how you two are holding up. If he's too much trouble for you Lavender, I can look after him." I balk at the idea.

Hell no! I'm not staying with you! You'll bury me alive somewhere and leave me to die! Lavender, please don't say I'm a lot of trouble! I don't want to leave! I love your cookies!

"Ah that's ok Neville. I've talked to Professor Black about Draco's condition. He should be restored to normal by the end of the week." Really? Thank Merlin! I'm getting sick of having four paws and watching my homework pile grow.

"Oh okay. Well if you need any help…"

"You'll be the first to know Neville." Lavender smiles and walks in the opposite direction. "After I'm shot dead by Harry." Thank Merlin Lavender is not so cruel as to hand me over to the devil's clumsy spawn.

"How was Charms?" Granger asks, walking up beside Lavender. She rolls her eyes.

"Boring as usual. I fell asleep half way through the lesson." She drooled onto her notes too. Very nasty.

"Well I'm sure it'll pick up." Granger pushes a curl behind her ear. "Listen, thanks for helping me Thursday."

Lavender grins. "He get past 2nd base?" Probably not. He's too chicken to do that.

"His mouth never closed and his eyes never moved from me." Granger blushes a brilliant red as Weasel rushes up to her with Potter behind him.

"He seems more eager to be near. Glad to have helped." Lavender moves away from the Golden Trio and proceeds into the Library to cram for the Potions test. Never cram for Snape's tests. Nothing you study will be on the test anyways.

* * *

**Lavender's POV**

"Get outta my underwear drawer Malfoy! I swear, you shed like a beast!" I toss him out of my drawer and onto my bed. Cat hair, everywhere! Now I remember why I don't have pets! "How Hermione can stand Crookshanks going through her things is beyond me. Then again, he probably doesn't have a fetish for girl's underwear!"

I glare at Draco's smirking face. "Wipe that smirk off your face or I'll hand you over to Longbottom." Now he's in a grumpy mood again. Oh well. I let my wet hair fall down my back as I slide under my bed covers. Draco's at the windowsill, looking out. "You coming to bed Draco?" He doesn't bother moving. Great now he's ignoring me.

I should just leave him to mope. Moping is good for the soul. Actually it's bad for your blood pressure. Conscience, don't you dare… ah crap. Now I feel bad. I don't like feeling bad. Sighing loudly I crawl out of my bed and pad in my bare feet over to Draco. Lifting him against my chest, I stroke the side of his head. He leans silently into my hand. Outside my window, you can see the Quidditch pitch. Ohhhhhh…

"If you want, tomorrow we can go flying… if you like." I whisper. I'm not a fan of flying but I'm not bad at it like Hermione. Draco keeps looking out the window to the field. "We can go right after classes. Just you and me or I can get Zabini to take you. Or Goyle. Not Pansy or Millicent. They're more likely to drop you."

I glance outside as my speech dies down. The moon is full tonight. Draco's fur coat gleams under the bright light. He's always been pale, even after the summer I see him come on the train and he's pale as a ghost. I don't think he ever gets enough sunlight. I shake my head as Draco turns into my body and rests his head on my shoulder. I stroke his back. "If it'll make you feel better I'll harass Harry during a Quidditch practice. I'll send screaming Valentines at him declaring my utter most devotion." Draco purrs softly before I feel a rough patch on my cheek for a few seconds before his head settles again on my shoulder.

Draco Malfoy just licked my face.

Now I'll have to harass Harry with screaming Valentines.

**Draco's POV**

My moodiness hasn't improved at all. It's 2:00 in the morning and I'm still awake. That's right, I am wearing my grumpy- moody face. Beware all who come near. You've been warned.

For three days I've been pretty crabby. Not even a cookie has made me feel better. It's like I'm going through a girl's PMS. I rest against Lavender's cool neck. I would like to go flying tomorrow.

I like her 2nd idea better. Harry Potter's misery is my joy. She'll do it to. Potter won't be expecting Valentines in November. She would make a good Slytherin…

Oh shit.

I feel like I'm stretching. This is definitely not comfortable. I press my lips to keep myself from yelling. I really don't need Lavender waking up right now. Malfoys do not show pain. Not to anyone. I close my eyes and grit my teeth.

My paws are becoming longer and the skin tightening around my bones. My body is stretching… this is really not comfortable! Suddenly everything goes black. My eyelids are too heavy to open and now I'm quite sleepy.

Ah shit!

I'm changing back! I'm chang- ZZZZZZ.

* * *

_1 or 2 more chapters to go and then I'm done! Review my loves!_


	10. Chapter 10

Me-OW

_Disclaimer: I own plot and the world. Life is good. :)_

Chapter 10

**Lavender's POV**

I need to remember to draw in my curtains at night. The sun is too bright for a Monday morning… I have to take Draco flying today… gotta remember to send Harry Valentines. All these things to do and so little time.

Hmmm… this is a first. I'm roasty toasty. My feet are warm and my tummy and even my arms… oh wait my nose is cold. Pretty good though. My blankets are a dead weight. Parvati's right, I need to surrender her and Ginny's dorm's blankets. I'll wait until tonight to return them. I'm too comfy…

!!

I have an extra arm. How is this possible? I didn't feel anything last night. Am I to become _Octopus Woman_? How will I breathe without water? I'm doomed! I need water to breathe damn it! Ok calm down Lavender! You're hyperventilating in your head!

You're safe for now, you're not suffocating. You're ok.

I usually feel my growth spurts. This can't be my new arm. It's far too pale… and muscular.

I turn my head carefully.

Far too muscular and… I'm pretty sure I never got the Dark Mark placed on my arm. I am absolutely positive. If I had, Mumsy would've grounded me for life.

I wiggle my fingers, one hand poking me in the cheek.

Ok. So an extra arm must mean there's someone else in this bed with me. But who? Definitely not Seamus, I'd have known when he entered the room. Not Dean, he's far too shy. Who's really pale in this school? Come on memory don't fail me now! Who the hell am I sleeping with??

The arm tightens around me and a face buries himself into my hair. I force myself to lie still.

It had better be a _himself_. If it's a _herself _I will leap from the window to be brought down by gravity to my death…

Oh shit.

Is he naked?!

**Draco's POV**

Huh? Lavender quit shifting… it's too hot under these covers. I will personally burn each one and I will smile as I stomp on the ashes.

I bury my head into Lavender's curls, breathing in fruity shampoo. Lavender's hair? Where's her neck? I open my eyes without moving my head.

I have an arm.

I have a sexily muscular aristocratic arm. With a dark mark but that's inevitable. Got it when I was 14. Didn't have much of a choice really, Voldermort holding mom hostage and all.

I grin.

I'm human again. I'm back to my gorgeous self!

I can talk again! I can walk on my own two feet! Fellow students are no longer giants! (Being 6"0 tall it's hard to adjust straining my neck to see anyone.) I can bathe all by myself! I can eat red meat without some wishy-washy woman taking it away for my own good! I won't need Lavender-

I won't be needing Lavender anymore. I won't have to listen to her stupid radio in the morning playing some stupid song. I won't have to listen to her screeching in the shower. I won't have to help her decide whether this skirt makes her look short or whether that shirt makes her breasts look too small. I won't need Lavender to pack me around to her classes. I won't have to sit with her girly friends. I won't have to listen to her hum during classes or in the halls. I won't have to watch her scramble to finish late assignments or cramming for the next class' tests. I won't have to watch the way she throws her head back when she's laughing. I won't have to watch her make cookies for fear of being left alone with one of my enemies. I won't have to snuggle against her cold neck at night to avoid being smothered by the numerous blankets…

I automatically tighten my arm around Lavender's waist when her body shifts.

_Uh-oh._

I've just realized I have a little problem… Being changed into a cat and all… I didn't need any clothes…

I don't believe this.

I laugh silently. Blaise would not believe me if I told him I've been naked in Lavender Brown's bed. Aroused at that.

"Draco?"

I stop laughing, realizing my shoulders had been shaking which probably woke her up. "Hmm?"

Lavender doesn't turn her face to meet mine. "You should probably have a cold shower. I'll get one of the guys to cough up some clothes for you."

She's embarrassed.

I don't believe this.

I've never had this reaction with any other girl who has made it into my bed. I raise an eyebrow at her turned pink face. "Alright."

I slide out of bed stretching and catching myself before I hit the floor. Now I've got to get used to standing on two feet. I carefully walk to the bathroom, gripping the wall. Before I close the door, I raise my voice to Lavender. "I hope you know you're the cause of this."

I smirk and close the door as Lavender turns beet red and buries her face under her many quilts, groaning.

* * *

**Lavender's POV**

"Thanks for this Ginny. I owe you."

"I still want to know what's going on. It's not every day you come to call at 7:00 on a Monday morning in PJs for clothes and make up." I shrug, grinning cheekily.

"Parvati's too far away a walk!" I head for the boy's dormitory stairs.

I grip the hand railings tightly as the stairs turn into a slide as I pull myself up the stairs. I barge into Ron's dorm shared with Seamus and Kyle. I head for Ron's chest and start scrimmaging for pants and a shirt that might fit Draco… and that was clean.

"Wha' you doing Lavender?" Ron's shaggy head pops up from his covers, a stupid sleepy look on his face. I glance at him. Ron still wears striped PJs. Wow.

"Need pants, underwear, and shirt."

"Can't you find those in your own closet?" Boy he's grumpy in the morning.

"Nope." I pull out a plain black t-shirt and black slacks. Not too wrinkled and doesn't smell too bad. Good enough. "Go back to sleep Mr. Grumpygills." I slam the door behind me, efficiently waking up his roommates. Heehee.

* * *

**Draco's POV**

I'm leaning against Lavender's bedpost when she comes back with questionable attire. "Dare I ask where you found those?" I raise an eyebrow as Lavender smirks, rolling her eyes. Nobody rolls their eyes at me except Granger. I think she has I rolling eye problem.

"Stole them from a grumpy Weasley." I shrug, catching the rags thrown at me.

"You got dressed elsewhere Lavender? You're breaking my heart here." I grin as her eyes rest on my damp towel and bare chest before meeting my direct gaze. "You like?"

She glares at me, blushing a lovely pink. "Shut up Malfoy. Get dressed and get outta here." I raise an eyebrow, stalking towards her until her retreating steps place her between me and the stonewall. I rest an arm against the wall, brushing my body against hers. My mouth rests beside her ear.

"Don't be all Miss. Defensive-for-being-caught-staring. I've seen you in your knickers." I pull away and without a backward glance enter the bathroom. By the time I come back out, Lavender and her book bag are gone. Chicken.

* * *

**Lavender's POV**

Parvati stares at me with her mouth open. "You're kidding me! Does he have a six-pack? I bet it looks better without a shirt." We're walking out of Divination. Yeah he did have a six-pack. With his white blonde damp hair brushing his eyebrows and standing in nothing but a towel and a smirk on his face… Draco's really hot.

I shake my head. "Yeah he's got one."

I ran for Parvati as soon as Draco closed the bathroom door. In the Great Hall I spill my guts to her during breakfast. She hasn't dropped the subject of Draco's body since.

"Oh my gosh! I can't believe-"

Draco's back to normal. In the Great Hall, he strolls in his own clothes towards Pansy, Goyle, Blaise, and Millicent. He's back to snarking at students and oh yes, he's hunting down Neville. Last time I saw him he was a large chicken with a horn sticking out from his forehead whinnying like a horse. Luna's in a panic thinking the Joogalows have attacked him.

Today has been a day of avoiding Draco and his friends as much as possible. Parvati hates this plan but sucks to be her doesn't it?

I don't miss the stupid cat. No more cleaning out the litter box!

I cut off Parvati mid-sentence. "I want a cat." She slaps a hand to her forehead. I don't understand why people do that. I tried it and had a handprint on my forehead for_ 2 hours_!

* * *

I love my bubbles. Gonna soak in pink bubbles. Bubbles make my skin soft to the touch. I love my bubbly bubbles. Baths are soothing for the body as well as the soul. Ask any girl after a stressful day.

I step into the warm water, submerging myself in hot water and large pinkish white bubbles. I could remain here forever. Stupid school takes time away from my precious bubbles. It should be against the law. I shall make it against the law.

* * *

**Draco's POV**

Revenge is a wonderful thing. Longbottom's now resting in the hospital ward and will remain there for 2 weeks.

It feels good to be back in Slytherin. I have copied most of Blaise and Pansy's homework assignments so I'm practically caught up.

I glance at my watch. 7: 35. Hmm, hopefully nobody's changed the Gryffindor password.

I hear the sound of humming coming from the bathroom. I grin, silently opening the door into the steamy room. Lavender's completely relaxed in the tub. She looks sexier than the last time I saw her naked in the tub. Too much bubbles but I'm not going to be picky. I start unbuttoning my shirt.

**Lavender's POV**

I open my eyes at the cool air coming from my right. My tummy flip-flops at the sight of Draco in the bathroom. He's unbuttoning his_ shirt_. I feel my cheeks heat up. "What are you doing here? Get outta here Malfoy!" I don't wanna see your muscley body!

I make sure the bubbles cover me before sending my _leave-or-die_ glare at him. Apparently he's immune to the glare or is unfamiliar with it.

"I don't think you want me to go Lavender." He tosses his shirt beside my discarded clothing. Oh my gosh, he's got a flat stomach. Quidditch no doubt. Still in his pants, he kneels down beside the tub, resting his forearms on the rim and leaning his face close to mine. "Tell me to leave and I'm gone." His nose brushes mine lightly. I close my eyes, inhaling sharply.

"I- want- you-to-leave." There now he'll depart. I've punctuated each word.

Why's he watching me? No, you are not reading my brain! Get out! Get out! I lower my gaze.

His nose presses against my cheek before scaling down my neck. "Now tell me like you mean it."

"I just did."

"You're a poor liar." He rises to his feet, discarding the rest of his clothing. I avert my gaze away from him, wincing when he pushes me forward so he can step into the tub behind me. He hisses at the temperature. "It's not good to scald your skin Brown. Skin cancer and all." Draco settles in, bringing me against his chest, settling me between his legs.

I bite my lip as I feel him against my bum. "You shouldn't be here." He presses a kiss against my shoulder.

"Yet here I am." His hands slide up my thighs to my stomach and finally resting on my breasts. I suck in a deep breath before turning so I'm straddling him. I wrap my arms around his neck, the bubbles sliding down my arm. His arms settle on my waist, a smirk on his face.

"Do you ever not smirk? I don't think I've ever seen you smile." I kiss his cheek, resting my head against his shoulder. Draco laughs silently.

"Malfoys do not smile, we smirk."

"Not true. I've seen your mother smile."

"Fine," He rolls his eyes, his fingers making small circles on my lower back. "I don't smile. I smirk." I grin.

"That's okay, it's kinda sexy." He smothers my laugh with his mouth.

* * *

"You got my bed all wet." I rise so I'm leaning back on my elbows. Draco raises his head from my chest.

"Not my fault. The tub wasn't big enough." He slides up my body before flipping our positions so I'm now lying against him, my head against his shoulder and his arms around me.

"My bed's still wet." Ginny and Parvati are not going to be happy to have their blankets returned wet with bubble water. Draco sighs.

"It'll dry. Worse comes to worse, we'll be sleeping and having sex in my bed tonight." I scoff.

"There's no way we're having sex with Zabini and Goyle in the room." I don't need an audience thank you very much.

"I'll kick them out." I finger the Dark Mark marring Draco's skin, tracing the black pattern. He tenses under my hands.

"Does that bother you?"

I shake my head. "Not really. You got this a long time ago. You're different now." I kiss his arm. He relaxes, his face against my head.

Is he smelling my head? That's not creepy at all. Nooooooo.

* * *

**Draco's POV**

Lavender looks good thoroughly shagged. She doesn't look half bad without makeup.

I close my eyes, breathing in her hair. I'm definitely getting rid of these stupid quilts.

Lavender suddenly jumps, bolting out of bed and scrambling for the closest clothing near her. Which happens to be my shirt and her shorts.

I frown. I'm really annoyed, I was just about to doze off and then she has to go and move. "Where are you going Lavender? It's 10:00 for crying out loud!" I can't sleep without you. Get your cute little ass back here. Curls are wildly flying around her face and past her shoulders. My shirt trails to her thighs, showing off how small she is. Long legs poke out from the shirt, arousing me all over again. "Get back into bed Lavender."

She shakes her head, her actions and expressions panicky. "Can't. Gotta find Goyle and Pansy." Goyle and Pansy?

"Why?"

"I need to see if they're dating." Huh?

"They've been dating for almost a week now Lavender. Come back to bed." Why does she suddenly want to see them?

Her face pales considerably. "Shit!" She races out the door. The door slams for 2 seconds before her head pokes back in. "Draco, are we together?"

I lean back against the pillows, arms tucked under my head. "What do you think?" I thought it pretty obvious.

She nods, pressing her lips together. "Ok. Shit!" She doesn't bother closing the door. Shit?

I race out of bed, forgetting all about my nudity as I yell down the stairs. "Why is that a bad thing?" I feel insulted right now.

At the bottom of the stairs, Lavender's in a dead panic. "I need to find Snape and Neville!"

Snape and Neville?

* * *

_All done! Guess what? I got the top of my ear pierced! And it doesn't even hurt! Anywho, there's MeOW. Review my darlings! Even if you've just read it because it's complete, review! I love reviews! Review, review, review!! :)_


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